Conan O'Brien's final monologue: 'Nobody in life gets what they thought they were going to get'

While not a huge Leno fan (more of a Letterman guy) I have for the past couple of years always taped his show on Monday because of “Headlines” (a funny bit “stolen” from Letterman). In a rare instance of cutting my nose to spite my face (because, as a rule, I’m old enough to know better) I will now NEVER watch Leno again for more than a second it takes to change the channel (assuming I end up on that channel). Yeah, NBC executives screwed this whole thing up royally, but if Leno had had even 1/10 of Conan’s class (who to my knowledge never even mentioned Leno’s name in this whole thing or even hinted about him) he would have done the right thing and just moved on. Leno’s not alone in show business in having no class, and he doesn’t really even have that much talent (a bit — he’s not bad with his timing of jokes but no better than a hundred others) but I’m amazed he’s so popular with the aging viewership of NBC (which is going to surpass CBS as being “the old people’s network” — and this comment comes from a senior citizen!).

I’ll watch Conan no matter where he ends up (and that’s the other side of this whole affair — I think Conan made far more fans for life than Leno will ever bring back to the Tonight show. I can hardly wait until the fall to see how the ratings treat this, because most of Leno’s fans will be dead by then).

Last summer, I had a friend’s son stay with us for vacation. Being in “the industry” I arranged lunches for us on the studio lots. We were walking on the Universal lot when we ran into Conan, walking toward the Tonight Show offices to get prepped for his show. We said hello and expected him to just nod and walk on but, instead, he stopped and talked to my young friend, Connor. I was blown away by his graciousness and generosity and Connor will NEVER forget that experience. In an industry filled with skepticism, negativity, fear and, of course, cynicism, Conan’s simple gesture was proof enough for me that he is as classy as he proved Friday night. This is NOT and will NOT BE about Jay Leno, at the end of the day. The postscript to this story will always be about Conan and the incredible way he lives his life and conducts himself in business. I will always be a fan of his comedic talent, but more importantly, I will forever be a fan of him as a professional and a man of integrity.

I always liked Conan and was disappointed with Jays decision to take his old job back after he gave it away. He’s an indian giver and I have never found his stuff funny….ever. Oh well, Jimmy Fallon is the next casualty because Jays not gonna get ratings at 11:30 either since he’s a douche-so Jimmy won’t get any good let in ratings.

God, I’m glad this is over! Craig Ferguson called it like it was… “It’s a couple of middle-aged white guys arguing over X million dollars…I’m bored off my arse.”

I cried. I can’t believe it, but I did.

YES IT WAS A CLASSY ENDING FOR CONAN. HIS HUMOR WAS MORE LIKE LETTERMAN’S. THE TRUTH IS THAT FOR SOME OF US THAT HUMOR IS NOT FUNNY. I AM NOT TAKING A SHOT. PEOPLE JUST HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES AND VIEWPOINTS IN LIFE.

Classy man