In a heavily-edited segment Monday on Dancing with the Stars, Tony Dovoloni walked out on Kate Gosselin after she objected to the way he was teaching – a development that may have had an impact on votes going into tonight’s show. And yet the TLC star survived her first elimination! Afterwards, Gosselin talked to EW about the sour look on her face and whether she felt the fight segment was a fair representation of what really happened.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Talk about that look on your face throughout the entire hour.
KATE GOSSELIN: Evidentally it was a horrifying look. Everyone is telling me about it. Next week I should smile during elimination. What?? Should I just stand there like this? (She displays huge grin).

Were you going to that dark place tonight? Did you convince yourself that you were in the bottom two?
KG: Oh yeah! In the back, all the couples would come back and forth and we would say `Oh gosh, you are safe.’ As they would announce more, the group was getting smaller and then everyone starting looking at me going `I’m sorry.’  We all just wanted to throw up. It’s hard. Let’s be honest, my scores are low. I turned to Tony at one point and said `get ready.’

You had to know that ABC would milk your celebrity for all its worth and make you wait until the very end.
KG: I knew that. I know how TV works … the ratings, the controversy, all that. (Dovoloni walks up and starts to faux grind against Gosselin. She ignores him). I so don’t …I tune it out, he’s a dancer. Anyway, I get how that works. At the same time, it could have very easily been me so I just have to say thank you to all the viewers who voted excessively because we so need the votes. I so don’t want this experience to end.
TONY DOVOLINI: She represents the everyday person at home who watches our show and wonders what it would be like to be on it with all the insecurities,  the pressures, everything that goes with it.
KG: I’m facing a humongous fear and I don’t want it to be over.

I think you are the reason the ratings are so great.
KG: Well I don’t want to take credit for any of that. I know a lot of people, for whatever reason, care about what I’m doing, whether it’s good bad or indifferent in their eyes. At the same time every fan I do have who is voting for me, I have to say thank you to those who are keeping me here. It’s very heavily fan-based as far as votes go, but I can’t bank on that. I’ve got to do the work. I can’t just say `hey! I’ve got a lot of people who want to watch me make a fool of myself.’ I’ve got to do the work and I’ve got to conquer the fear. I’m all about working hard and throwing myself in. For whatever reason, I love this terror. Why? I don’t get it.

Did you watch last night’s show? Your argument?
TD: No, I will not ever watch that. It’s one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I called my dad today and I apologized to him.
KG: And me, on the other hand, reality TV mama, I’m like, “Hey they caught it, they used it, I get all that.”
TD: That’s Kate. For me, it’s different. I was raised differently.
KG: Honestly the reason our TLC show did so well is I don’t have anything to hide. I’ve said it a million times, and once again this proves it. I’m sorry that situation happened and I don’t feel like it was as dramatic as it looked on screen — it was a five-minute ordeal. But at the same time, it shows the pressure behind us, the hard work, the urgency, the total fear. That was fear driven, that whole argument. It was, “Oh my gosh, I need to learn this, I need to learn it now because we have four days.” (She turns to Dovoloni) And, that’s how I’ll be tomorrow. Brace yourself.
TD: I’m prepared for it.

More ‘DWTS’: Annie Barrett’s results show recap