Super Bowl XLV: Our counterprogramming guide

Say you don’t like football, Glee, the Black Eyed-Peas or ultra-expensive ads for Doritos and Budweiser, yet you still want to spend hours watching TV on Sunday.

We can help. Here’s our top Super Bowl counterprogramming picks (all times Eastern Standard, check local listings for marathon start’n’stop times):

The Puppy Bowl, Animal Planet, 3 p.m., repeats endlessly: Two starving dogs trained for combat are put into a pit, unleashed, then fight to the — ohhh, wait. This is different, they’re all cute and licking each other. Aww. It’s a Super Bowl tradition.

Sex and the City marathon, E!: Shopping, hot guys, shoes, dating. This is true red-blooded NFL counter-programming, the way our TV ancestors intended. 

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team marathon, CMT: The Super Bowl counterprogramming strategy meeting at CMT’s corporate office was doubtless a short one.

MTV’s Jersey Shore / Teen Mom 2 marathon: You can catch up on the current season of Shore, and then MTV reconfigures its testosterone-estrogen balance during the big game by counterprogramming with Teen Mom 2.

TNT vs. USA Law & Order marathons: In the basic cable system, L&O fans are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: TNT with its repeats of the flagship Law & Order, and USA with its reruns of SVU. Here, both sides stand trial for your attention in an epic prosecutorial marathon.

1000 Ways to Die marathon, Spike: By the end of the day, you will know every way to die. So you’ll have that going for you.

Jerseylicious marathon, Style: Is this really counter-programming the Super Bowl, or is it counter-programming MTV’s Jersey Shore marathon? Style must figure there’s Shore fan spillover to be gained, and “Jersey Shore” looks a lot like “Jerseylicious” in the programming guide when you’re drunk.

Ghost Hunters marathon, Syfy: Is there ever a major holiday or event that isn’t an occasion for Syfy to run a Ghost Hunters marathon?

— While most networks air repeats or movies, Showtime will have original episodes of Californication at 9 p.m., Episodes at 9:30 p.m. and Shameless at 10 p.m.

Also: Mini-marathons of Discovery’s Gold Rush: Alaska, IFC’s Freaks & Geeks, Nickelodeon’s SpongeBob SquarePants, G4’s Cops, and TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress.

And lest we forget: Movies. There’s some good ones: ABC Family has a Pixar triple feature with Toy Story at 3:30 p.m, Toy Story 2 at 7 p.m. then Cars at 9 p.m. ABC airs Knocked Up at 9 p.m. AMC has Terminator at 2:30 p.m., then Terminator 2 at 5 p.m. FX runs Kung Fu Panda at 9 p.m. TNT offers Forrest Gump at 8 p.m. and TBS runs Pretty Woman at 8 p.m.

Image Credit: Gavin Bond/Syfy; Animal Planet; Emily Shur/MTV; Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Comments (40 total) Add your comment
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  • LOL

    If you miss the Super Bowl, the terrorists win.

    • Tom

      Amen to that.

    • H

      Truer words have never been spoken.

    • huh?

      and you’re about 10 years old, I think?

      • lolly


    • Carlos

      @LOL; you are so funny dude.

  • laura

    Puppy Bowl!!! While I will be watching the Superbowl we always catch at least a few minutes of those adorable puppies

    • Rachel


  • Chris

    It will be a Netflix day for me until Glee comes on. I hope it’s not a long game.

    • Luis PJ

      game should end by nine CST

  • jane1982

    yay puppybowl!

  • Ktct

    I love football, love Glee..hate the Peas. Dinner during half time, DVR Glee.

    • hermione

      A man/woman after my own heart!

  • rog

    hey whats that lil Ooompa loompa “shnooky” doin on this page? The Wonka factory called to say they are missing an Oompa Loompa loompa de do!! do you want orangge skin like shnooky too?

  • $$$$$$$$$

    I calling in sick and I am watching the superbowl and glee. Mostly for the commericals

  • Kana

    Pixar Party, yeah!

  • Jenny

    Awesome! My friends and I are having a party to not watch the superbowl, the Toy Story option sounds fun!

  • Steven

    Puppy Bowl and trying to catch Superbowl commercials.

  • Snsetblaze

    I want to watch the Puppy Bowl. That guy who is the referree – despite having to clean up after the puppies – has the best job on the planet.

    However, if I turn it on, I’ll be distracted from my schoolwork so I’ll probably keep the tv off until Glee.

  • Sam

    Screw the Super Bowl. Screw the Steeelers. They will have everyone asleep by halftime anyway the way they play football. Has there ever been a more unlikable team in the history of football?

    • nayc

      Must be a Cleveland or Baltimore fan….. don’t hate, celebrate the team with the MOST SB wins..

    • rage

      The Jets

  • Nancy

    I definitely need something to fill my time until Glee comes on.

    I’d love a Sex and the City marathon but not edited for basic cable. Hopefully Lifetime will have some wonderfully bad movies on.

  • lindsey

    Superbowl for Christine A, then puppybowl then back to superbowl, then Jerseyshore, then back to superbowl for halftime, puppybowl for another minute then superbowl,jerseyshore, superbowl, then Californication and Episodes, then back to superbowl for the end of game. phew!!!

  • tiff

    Eff all of the suggestions! BBC America is running Top Gear all weekend!

    • Bill from Las Vegas

      Some say,”That’s what I’ll be watching!!!!” POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

    • ks

      Top Gear BBC Rules That is where I will be

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