Charlie Sheen's bitter letter says 'Men' finished without him

Charlie Sheen continues to find new ways to vent about his former employer. Having done radio interviews, TV interviews, filed a lawsuit, launched a stage show, sent Tweets and performed scary Web cam chats, he’s now gone old fashioned: Firing off a letter to TMZ mocking Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre and any attempt to continue the show next fall without him.

“I’m out here with my fans every night,” Sheen writes. “The message is crystal clear. NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW. And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards (read Lorre’s latest here), every Monday night, a no-show.”

As EW first reported more than a month ago, Warner Bros. is strategizing for the best way to continue Men without Sheen, which will likely involve adding another character. Sheen continued:

“The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned … no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets.”

Of course, Men has been in repeats. And its repeats tend to perform better than any comedy on TV.

Sheen is sort of like a guy who sends angry emails to his ex-girlfriend about how she’ll never meet anybody as awesome as him, not realizing all such letters do is motivate a person to try.


Comments (225 total) Add your comment
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  • The Bo

    I have an iPad 2

    • MJ

      Nice.

      • The Luke

        I have an iPad 3

      • GEO MACNA

        I HAVE AN IPAD 4

      • Erica

        I have a MAXI PAD.

      • troy

        I’ll have the iPad 5 when it comes out

      • Tyler D.

        I have a HUMANCENTiPAD…2

      • Mini

        Yay Erica!

      • Rob

        I have a HumancentiPad 6

      • Rob

        Dammit tyler you beat me, but at least I’ve 10 models ahead.

      • Jerri

        I have a tampon!

      • Sarah

        I’m on a horse.

      • One of the Goddesses

        I’m on a cocaine binge.

      • Tod

        I have a bachelor pad. Groovy and winning.

      • Kermit

        I have a lilly pad

      • josh

        I have an IHorse

      • Crashed

        I have a mattress pad. YAWN

      • Donald Trump

        I have a helicopter pad.

      • Jake

        I have a launch pad. Live long and prosper.

      • nick

        i have a bachelor pad.

      • the fresh prince

        i was on my way to get an ipad 2 but i got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, ‘you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air.’

      • Steve Jobs

        I have an eye-patch, because I didn’t catch the apple

      • WatchesEverything

        I have a pencil.

      • Robin

        I’m on a boat.

      • Merrydan

        I have a fever.

      • Obi Wan

        I have a Padawan.

      • Razor

        I’M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN—YOU KIDS GET TO SLEEP!

      • Rick

        Took a running jump onto a moving tractor and was crushed by farm equipment. What are the odds in that happening?

      • oh nyuk nyuk

        I have a canoe paddle.

      • Yellow

        I had my named changed to Yellow Canary.

      • Earl

        I have sepll checkk

      • You don’t say…

        I have a yellow pad and a pencil…

      • Bubba

        I have a torpedo and I’m afraid to use it.

      • Adam Selene

        Simon, I’d rather be on the Moon in June.

    • KLH

      I like Pad Thai

      • steven

        i like bangkok drummers

      • Simon Jester

        I like New York in June. How about you?

      • bob

        I got New York’s sloppy seconds

      • KiKi

        I like pot stickers.

    • chery

      EYE YI YI

      • Maybelle

        I got Maxi Pad 2

      • Martin

        I got Maxi Priest tickets!!!

    • Claire

      I love you all for starting this hilarious comment chain.

      • Dominic

        My name starts with the last letter of the word pad.

    • Bubba

      I’m in the past.

      • FreshJedi

        I’m trying to get Back To the Future.

  • Bella

    With his interviews and tour, Sheen has proven that he’s a hollow actor who only does well when there is an excellent script telling him what to say and how to say it. His Torpedo of Truth continues to torpedo his career. What a clueless idiot. I hope the Two and a Half Men reboot is a huge success. I haven’t watched the show the last few years because of Sheen’s off-screen behavior, but I’ll watch the reboot for sure as long as he’s not anywhere near it.

    • Mark

      I’m sorry…are you calling any episode of Two and A Half Men an ‘excellent script’. Yikes…couldn’t read past that sentence…

      • ha!

        You took the words right out of my mouth!

      • just saying

        seriously. i thought the show was mediocre with him on, i will absolutely not watch with him off. not only do i hate it when long running shows try to reboot a franchise by switching up main characters, i also hate it when long running shows outstay their welcome bc of the greedy corporate network fat cats. not to mention that i think cbs and chuck lorre egged charlie and his craziness on with their antics as well. you knew he was a flawed individual at the least. chances are you knew about his substance abuse for years and you tolerated it until he got too out of your control. well, deal with it. the best thing here would be to let the show die a quiet death and not return in the fall and for EVERYone involved to just move on with their lives.

      • Sally

        Of course they knew about his substance abuse. That has not been a secret. Charlie was fired when he started backtalking about his bosses. You just don’t do that – no matter what business you are in. Charlie learned the hard way.

      • BLUTO

        Sounds like Charlie needs to look for a new career. I’d try: Dental Hygienist, Paralegal, Medical Billing or Auto Mechanic—those always seem to need new people and are fairly recession-proof.

        Although with Dental Hygienist—he’ll have to have a criminal background check.

      • Luca

        compared to his show. yes, 2 & 1/2 men is prize winning stuff.

      • steven

        superman is really a globalist now they say.. sad day

      • Yellow

        “excellent script” !!!

        those must be some really awesome drugs you are taking

      • Templar

        Bluto: Dental Hygienist? Would you let Charlie Sheen stick ANYTHING in you mouth?

      • You don’t say…

        In a just world Charlie Sheen would be a cook at waffle house only he would get fired because not one wants to listen to all that crazy garbage. And besides, that is an insult to cooks at Waffle House.

    • Alan

      Haha, haters gonna hate. The show won’t make it through a whole season unless they will it through to try to drive home a failing point. Charlie WAS that show.

      FYI, diss on the Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option tour all you want… it was excellent when I attended and I’m sure it’s only getting better.

      • Sls

        The tour is almost over. The only way for it to get better us for it to end.

      • KLH

        The show is just one peepee joke after another. Maybe they will give JC something else to do. The show may fail, but Charlie already has.

      • Kate

        “Alan” you are not going to be given your show back. You pissed it away, and deserve every bit of ridicule you’re getting.

      • Monster

        Charlie Sheen is WINNING!!!!

    • Rashy

      Stick to Edward.

      • Tim

        if everything I watch is not based somewhat on a comicbook I don’t care

    • allen

      the only thing that sheen’s tour has proved is that without a large stable of script-writers, he’s just not an interesting guy. Hell, he couldn’t even hold the attention of people who PAID to see him and claim to be fans.

  • ras0001

    No one cares if you are on the show or if they replace you or they take it off the air. NO ONE is worth the nonsense you put everyone thru – you are NOT THAT GREAT an actor.

    Move on – I certainly have

  • holly

    What a nasty, sick, self-involved, delusional man Charlie Sheen is…of course, that is no big news flash.

    Jon Cryer is hilarious as are the other actors. The writing is terrific. I was sick of the perpetually drunk & promiscuous character and of the perpetually drunk & promiscuous actor who played him anyway, and the whole Rose character is GOT to go. So lame.

    Time for a fresh & new story line for the show.

    I will be watching faithfully.

    • Jake

      I always liked John Cryer and Taylor Holland better than Charlie. Even Conchatta and Angus were better. If they do it right I’ll still watch. It was the writing not Charlie that made the show.

    • just saying

      no. it’s just time for a NEW SHOW. when shows get trite, tired and boring, you don’t just upend the storyline and fire half the cast. it will never work. there will be higher ratings for the first week or two as people watch the train wreck and then people will move on to better fare (or since we’re in america, stupider reality fare).

      • Luca

        Yep. Have “Cryer” decide that it’s time for he and the kid to be on their own. Say he gets offered a job that is somewhere not LA. Spin them off to their own gig

  • Arnas

    honestly i definattelly agree with him…Well berta and jake are good there too…Holland Taylor makes good apearances too…But others meh….I do not even miss them..

  • Tivo

    Wow, way to make sure no one ever wants to see him on that show again. They could put a chimpanzee in his role and I promise to watch it. Just to show him how truly important he is to the world.

  • Zelda

    Charlie Sheen is a train wreck. No one in my family will watch him. His character on “Men” is the same as his character in real life: self-indulgent, promiscuous, and completely devoid of integrity. The sooner the public rejects him, the sooner he will seek real help for himself.

    • davey

      Very well said.

    • Maybelle

      Yet Millions of people watched Charlie play himself on TV….how ironic!

  • AsIf

    He acts like Chuck Lorre doesn’t have other shows on the air that are doing just great without Charlie Sheen. He acts like the other actors aren’t good enough to go on without him. He acts like his shows have been successes with only his feeble thoughts, rather than good scripts. He acts like he’s fine, but he’s a fired actor who can’t see his kids, has alienated the rest of his family and many of his ‘friends’ are too scared to be pulled into his quagmire. Sober up, Charlie. Get some help. Your bosses and ex-wives were willing to give you another chance if you were willing to work at being a decent man. You may have burned through all your fourth and fifth chances. Enough is enough.

    • E

      Thank you. You got it.

    • jd

      Charlie’s recent bitter rants about Chuck Lorre, CBS, Warner and anyone else he thinks he should blame remind me of my ex-husband when we first separated. He’d call me up to tell me what a wretched, low-life, b*tch I was and then beg me to come home. Why did my ex think I’d want to go back to him, and if he really thought all of the horrible things about me that he said – why did he want me back? So Charlie – if you’ve been treated so terribly and if all of the writers, producers and powers-that-be that kept your show on the air are so awful – why do you want to go back? Especially if you’re “WINNING”?!?!?

  • Brett

    Say what you will about Charlie Sheen, this show will tank without him. Because we all saw how successful Lucy was when they kept rebooting HER show without Ethel. Come to think of it, Two and A Half Men has just been rebooted into I Love Ethel.
    Good luck Ethel, I mean Cryer.

    • Hey Ricky!

      Never heard of Lucy spouting off hate filled rants to her producer. She just *divorced him* and kept moving…only for her crazy Latin ex to act nuts in public.

      See. There is some connection to Sheen and Lucy. Just not what you think

      Babaloo on, Crazy Estavez.

      • Brett

        That’s not the point. I Love John Cryer (I Love Ethel) will fail abysmally. And it will serve them right, not saying Sheen is a saint but Lorre is the one holding the contract (and Cryer is the one selling his soul to the devil).

      • Pete

        @Brett the show wasn’t successful because of Charlie Sheen. The show was successful because it followed the networks #1 comedy Everybody Loves Raymond. For the first few seasons they had the best possible time slot because Raymond had the largest viewing audience of the night. And with none of the other networks scheduling sitcoms to directly compete from 9-10pm Sheen was the only option.

      • Maybelle

        Pete you are wrong! Because if what you say is true, then why is even the reruns of 2 & 1/2 men outdoing any show that is against it? Charlie Sheen is/was that show and everyone knows it. Even the haters…….which by the remarks they even watch it. So closet lovers but public haters unite! LOL

    • Goodbye in Rocks

      They said the same thing when they killed off Stevenson in MASH. – They all thought he was the star instead of it being an ensemble show. The name of the show is Two and a Half Men. Not I Love Sheen.

      • Kate

        Sheen is a clueless idiot. He’ll be doing shopping mall gigs eventually, trying to get $25 for a photo of him or his scrawl and some drool on a flyer.

  • Me

    Thank you Prince William and Princess Catherine for removing this hack and Trump from the main news cycle today!

    • tvfan2011

      Charlie Sheen is like Shannon Doherty x 1000000. One day he will realize he is NOTHING without his tv show and he will struggle because of his bad rep.

    • K

      I think you mean the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Apparently you can’t just go from commoner to princess…so she’s a Duchess. Laaaaaaame.

      • Sarah

        There is no slight in being a Duchess. A Dukedom is the highest office you can be given. All the men have been given that title on their wedding day – Duke of York, Duke of Wessex etc. Catherine will one day be Queen – that sure beats Princess. Her new title has nothing to do with her being a former commoner.

        I know Charlie Sheen is out of control and obviously quite ill, but he really needs to shut up now.

      • Me

        Really???

        This is what you’re complaining about?

        Laaaaaaaaame

  • Anno

    I might start watching that show just to help prove the little twit wrong.

    • Pat

      Me, too.

    • Sue1

      Me three.

    • cheap robot

      good point, i would too. and twit is such an excellent word for him. i’m gonna make my OWN t shirts. i’ll cut you in on the profits.

  • CS

    Yea, you’ve all moved on so much, that you’re still reading this story, and commenting on it. Why don’t you all truly MOVE ON!!!!

    • alex

      Haha, you read and commented too! You should take your own advice.

    • MJ

      After you!

  • Mike

    Bye Charlie. We didn’t really know you until you totally exposed the inner you! Yikes!
    Here’s what should happen: Jon Cryer and Ryan Stiles can totally carry the show. Judith throws Herb out, Herb moves in with Alan, both men now have the same ex-wife, Jake is still around, Berta is still around, Charlie seems to have moved to Hong Kong (or anywhere) in the middle of the night and no one ever hears from him again. Ryan Stiles is hilarious… Jon Cryer is a real actor (unlike Sheen) and can take the character any direction the script says. Herb, Alan, and Jake… Two and a Half Men… a total HIT!

    • Will

      Unfortunately with Herb, Alan & Jake you only get 1/2 man (Jake) and two sissy ex husbands. You can’t call Alan a man in any sense. He would have to start acting like one. And if they start making a man out of either Alan or Herb the show would suck. And besides you would have to change the name of the show to My 2 Ex’s and have it based around Judith. Would be better than basing it around Herb or Alan.

      • Templar

        Well, Jake is grown now so he and Alan could be the Two and Berta could be the half because she’s really the one with the cojones.

    • @Mike

      I like it!!

    • RobNie

      I LOVE IT! It is the perfect solution. I would love the show as you describe it. I do think that Holland Taylor should play a much bigger part. I never knew why her part became so diminished anyway — probably because of Charlie Sheen’s giant (now gone) ego. Almost every scene Holland is in is always a real hoot. I suggest you write your comment to Hollywood, just in case they haven’t thought if it. It’s PERFECT!

    • Heyman29323`

      Holy Crap. This is actually a really a good idea. They need to do this. Anything else would seem desperate

    • Explosion

      I see the opening of an overturned car. Inside you see a body in a bowling shirt holding a bottle of Jack. The police are at a distance.

      Cop1: we gotta save that guy!
      Cop 2: I think he’s dead…oh wait! He’s moving!

      (car explodes)

      Cop 2: Nope. He’s dead…

    • just saying

      The show’s been on for years. why not just let it die and let everyone move on to better projects than a half arsed version of what they’ve already been playing for years. the premise was already tired. i think charlie imploded at a great time since they wouldnt stop writing the show otherwise. but they STILL won’t give up this craptastic show…

  • Mic jones

    Good…. glad he is finished. Let’s move on without him, shall we? He is a looser.

  • niteowljr

    Anyone able to decipher the backmasked message in the audio of episode 4, season 2?

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