Ashton Kutcher takes CBS stage: 'I won the lotto'

Two-Men-Ashton-Kutcher

Welcome to CBS, Ashton Kutcher: The “actor, producer and social media mogul” was officially introduced by CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler today at the network’s upfront presentation in New York. Kutcher — wearing a very casual beige jacket and slacks — said it was “awesome to be there” and “for some reason they are letting us talk.” (See the first photos of the cast here.)

Kutcher, as well as Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones (both of whom showed up in conservative, dark suits) came out on stage while snapping to the comedy’s theme song. But when Kutcher didn’t get the “men men men” lyrics just right, he quipped, “I’m still learning my lines.” 

Then he got serious. “In my 13 years in show business, I’ve never received more emails and phone calls from people congratulating me for this job. You almost think I’ve won the lotto … which I kind of did,” the actor said, in a not-so-veiled reference to his $1 million per episode salary. “I got the best job in show business and I’m excited about that.” (To celebrate, Kutcher tweeted a photo of himself with his new costars — at left.)

Then it was Cryer’s turn. Turning to Tassler and CBS Corp. topper Leslie Moonves in the audience, he asked, “Did you have to get a tall guy? Really, was that necessary? It’s [now] One and Two Half Men.”

Earlier in the day, Moonves declined to make a ratings prediction when chatting with the press. “I’ve been chased from every restaurant in Los Angeles for the past two months avoiding questions,” he said. “But I think we’ve come through it just fine.”

For more on Kutcher:
Official: Ashton Kutcher joins Two and A Half Men
Jon Cryer ‘jazzed’ to work with Ashton Kutcher
Charlie Sheen reacts to Ashton Kutcher hire; Kutcher responds

Final: The 2011-12 fall TV schedule

Comments (274 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2 3 12
  • Clete

    I thought he won the lotto when he married Demi Moore.

    • nah

      the 1980s version maybe

      • Anon

        Hate! Hate! Hate!

      • EmSeeDubayou

        1980’s post boob job pre-ego version

      • Kesyer

        CoCo: Take your drivel elsewhere.

      • DVZ

        Or 1970s Swank Magazine version.

      • JustMe

        Isn’t Coco a monkey? Looks like a monkey XXXhouse, need to go their with a sack of bananas.

      • Patrick

        Yeah, if winning the lotto means being with a 50 year old woman when your 33.

    • DJ

      Actually it was Demi who won the Lotto….

      • Cynthia

        You go that right sista. Ashton is hot hot hot.

      • imma flip you over this couch

        She had a chance to hit Rob Lowe in the 80’s and she didn’t. if i were in her position my life would be one full of regret. rob lowe was and still is a hot piece. ashton was cute on 70s but now he is just annoying

      • scoobiedoo

        We all make our own lotto. Get with the program. The human mind is one’s world.

      • CJ

        True dat.

    • My son is also named Bort

      We didn’t Ashton.

      • Mike

        “My son’s name is also Bort” OMG that is my favorite line from the 20+ years of that show.

    • cherrios

      He won 2 Mega Lottos.

    • evoc

      Exactly. Now, if he can just learn to act.

    • Harry

      Won the lotto?? He’s never lost in the lotto! He’s got: Looks, chicks, and money. He’s got it made!

      • YMa

        Winning!

    • fred

      No…. Old Demi won when she bagged the cougar-bait.

  • Gupta

    FRIST

    • @Gupta

      Fail.

      • gi

        Bones is pregnant after a comfort sex one night stand with Booth. What a FU after 6 years.

      • Coach

        LOL

  • Beauty

    Calm down Kutcher.

    I agree, you get an insane paycheck to read and memorize a script so I guess you did win the lotto.

    • Angus T.

      I give my new co-star and “new series” one season…no one can top Charlie.

      • Josh

        I agree. We have grown on 8 seasons with Charlie, now to have him step out, and replaced by an in-law will not work well with the rest of the family (us).

      • Londongirl

        Charlie was NEVER funny…FUNNY is Jon Cryer. Jon is brilliant but all we ever heard was charlie this charlie that. I just never found him to be funny; over rated yes. Angus is really good but Jon is the real star of that show.

      • d

        ur right

      • tom

        agree…Jon was the funny one. Sheen just a smarmy sleezy egotist…and I’m talking about his character…which appears to not have been too much of an acting stretch from his real personality. Good riddance.

      • JJ

        Au contraire. Now that The Sheen is gone from the show, I may start watching it, as long as they don’t have Ashton act like Charlie.

      • terri

        Why would someone go to all the trouble of falsifying an identity just to post a rude comment? Like the real Angus would post something like that, how dumb do you think we are?

      • LarrySoCal

        Yep, no one can top Charlie–at drinking himself blind daily, frying his brain on every illegal drug ever made, managing to get fired from the top rated comedy show on TV, ticking off his bosses, Well, you get the point.

      • tvfan

        You don’t know what will work, but people will check it out and stay if they like it and leave if they don’t. The ratings will be the final judge of this attempt to save two and a half men from the junk heap.

    • Tone

      Should have got Vince Vaughn to take over…this guy can adapt to anything and if they clean him up (shower, shave, haircut, maybe gym) this show could have higher ratings ever.

      • Ian

        Yes, I’m sure Vaughn would be chomping at the bit to drop a successful career producing and starring in films, to take over the lead on a 9 year-old sitcom. Try thinking before speaking, it’ll do you good.

      • Brett

        Ian, perhaps YOU should try thinking before speaking. Vaughn’s not THAT successful.

    • bob

      You think Memorizing lines is easy? I work on sets for 29 years and I am always amazed that the actors more often than not get it right. They have re writes and changes twenty different ways thrown at them constantly and do a great job. Your a fool if you think their job is easy. The lines are only a small part of it.. Acting is a job where you speak many different ways. Just try to memorize just a few lines and get in front of a hundred people with a camera rolling and tell me it’s easy.. Oh yeah, I’m not an actor, I’m a Sound mixer.

  • LMFAO

    Entertainment News: Networks’ New Fall Offerings Target Fans of Crap

    • STFU

      Your comments are crap.

      • Pippa

        Oh, you mean like yours?

    • goober

      @STFU…stfu…

  • Moses Ashford

    I hope that they finally cancel this series. I am bored of it. Charlie Sheen had such a promising career and I am so disappointed to see the direction that his life and career has gone. He has done some great movies in his time such as Wall Street (1987), The Three Musketeers (1993), The Arrival (1996), Shadow Conspiracy (1997), Postmortem (1998), etc. I always wanted him to just do mainstream movies, particularly serious films and dramas, try to reach his full potential as an actor, join the A-list and try to win an Oscar. But now I have just given up on him. He hasn’t surpassed his father, Martin Sheen who still gets better roles and does bigger movies and he has become the laughing stock of Hollywood.

    • pockets

      yes Charlie is crying….with $40 Million made this year….boo hoo

      • jo

        40 mil doesnt go far when you have a posse of goldiggers, and a band of drug dealers dippin into your pocket all the time. He will end up in a bathub dead and alone, like Belushi, except we loved Belushi.

    • Mike

      I hope Ashton Kutcher puts together a good performance on the show and helps take it to a higher level.
      On Charlie, I really loved his work on The Arrival. It really seemed like he had reached a point of clarity. Sadly, it did not last.
      It’s hard to put my finger on it, but Charlie just seems to be bent on displaying what he thinks is a clever machismo, which unfortunately comes across as clumsy, stupid and way-out weird to the rest of the human race.
      His Dad, Martin, probably put it best. Charlie needs to grow up.

    • Robert S

      You forgot PLATOON.

    • wtf

      The Arrival are you serious?
      I think you forgot Platoon

  • ps.

    I have never watch this show, was not a fan of Charlie Sheen. But I did watch that 70’s show, and Ashton was really funny, so I just may have to tune in, and watch, and see what happens…peace out.

    • Jimbo

      Was he really that funny or did he just acted like a goofball?

      • @Jimbo

        Terrible grammar. You should say “or did he just act like a goofball?” If you write and speak like an adult, people may care about what you have to say.

      • BRBSanDiego

        @Jimbo – you are a bore+ and Azzhole. Maybe he just had a spelling issue like you have a rudeness issue.

      • goober

        @Jimbo hahahahaha awesome…only a total stupid f**k comes on a public forum and complains about grammar…shine on you crazy diamond

      • Greg

        @Jimbo…rather than coming onto this forum with your red marker and writers reference, please find something else to do.

      • newsreel

        There are different ways to act like a goofball. His was funny.

      • blanketjackson

        “might” not “may” Mr. Grammar!

      • oceangal23

        Really? Posting about grammer on comments. I feel sorry for you.

    • Angela

      I have to agree, I never watched 2 and A Half Men other than the occasional show and Charlie was good but now that Ashton is going to be on, I will have to tune in as well!

    • p.s.s.

      Ditto, what he said.

    • CDN

      No, see the funny thing is that Jimbo meant, you say red not read, an instead of a, whan not when, them not their, but finally you misappropriate too many words to speak of, or mix them up without any nowledge, K. Cus yall arn American Idiots. Nonetheless you are all welcome at my humble abode for a Canadian back-bacon, Maple syrup breakfast and a sleigh-ride any month of the year. It snows here all the time even though in latitude we are higher than northern Cali. Peace

  • Evelyn

    A Brit like Ricky Gervais, Simon Pegg, Eddie Izzard, Steve Coogan or Rowan Atkinson would have been a better choice.

    • Mark

      You say that every friggin’ post you make. Get over it.

    • ubercool

      You have got to be kidding!!!!! A few of those guys are terrible in my opinion. Don’t watch the show, but I think he is a goos choice.

    • dbag

      Are you serious, Eddie Izzard? That would not work in this show at all. He is too scary for American television, and you must be some kind of wacko for even suggesting that. Keith Richards would work. There are some Brits that might work but they would have to be a) believably straight, and b) mellowed out.

      • Not

        Izzard is fabulous. I’m sure his intelligent humor goes way over your head…not too ‘scary’ for U.S. television, just too scary for the low IQ crowd.

    • JDriver77

      How the heck would a Brit fit the position of having a son and a brother with AMERICAN accents living in the states…I assume you’ve never even seen the show…

      • mags

        They aren’t replacing Sheen in the role of Charlie. They’re bringing in a new character.
        By the way the kid is Alan’s son, not Charlie’s.

      • thin

        You’re right on all counts, but even with a brand-new character, they still have to make him fit in with the rest of the cast.

    • gary

      Yeah, you are clueless. Ashton is gonna be great. He was awesome in ’70s Show’ and will just as good in ‘2 and a half men’. Peace Out!

    • Oh no

      Ricky Gervais sux.

    • kate middleton

      You’re kidding, right? Mr. Bean? Steve Coogan? It had been said from the beginning that CBS wanted a big name to keep viewers interested. Most Americans don’t know who Eddie Izzard, Simon Pegg or Steve Coogan are….not exactly big names here. A lot of Two and a Half Men viewers probably don’t even know Ricky Gervais. And any Americans that know Mr. Bean haven’t thought of him in 15 years. Hugh Grant could have worked, but none of these you suggested.

      Ashton will probably do as well as anyone could on that show.

    • geez

      Evelyn!!! you succeeded at getting people to answer this post you put up everywhere. I was beginning to thing no one really reads anything they just write stuff.

  • Troy

    Rob Lowe must be kicking himself. There’s no way he’s making that kind of money on Parks and Rec.

    • tnsmoke

      Yeah but Parks and Rec is a class act, truly funny show with excellent writing. Two and a Half Men’s only appeal was Charlie Sheen’s playing Charlie Sheen. For some strange reason women over 50 loved him. Ashton is too bland and too smug to appeal to that demographic. Not to mention Charlie could act and Ashton can’t, he only knows how to Twitter.

      • cregis

        I’m over fifty and think Ashton is really, really cute, better looking than Charlie Sheen. It will all depend on the writing, though.

      • Erin

        I have never found him attractive at all and generally speaking all his characters whether in tv or movies are the same bar butterfly effect (where I thought he was fantastic).

        But his common character is an overgrown kid so he will slot into Charlie’s place well I suspect (1 mill though, seriously??? That’s just wrong)!

      • Elaine

        Actually, not all women over 50. But I do love Charlie’s dad. Now THERE’S a class act who is also, truly, an actor.

      • geez

        Martin Sheen in the execution of Private Slovic (?). He was not only incredibly good looking and sexy he acted his a** off. Yeah a lot of women over 50 actually have taste.

    • JaySin420

      I don’t know, Parks n Rec is the funniest show on tv and people are finally realizing it.

      And who knows how long this new Two and a Half Men will last (like the guy or not- Charlie Sheen WAS the show), my guess is not very long.

      • asmartperson

        everyone knows Parks and Recs is a blatant rip-off of The Office, which has been the funniest TV show for years…Parks is getting better though as Office is getting worse…

      • Jim Halpert

        This is the part when I glance into the camera with an air of resigned exasperation mixed with confusion.

  • Jim

    Good luck, Ashton…you’ll be great in spite of trying to fill some very big shoes. I think you’ll show Hollywood just how good you really are!

  • Amy Monique

    I think that Kutcher will be the “proverbial” shark for Two and a half men. You can not replace the repertoire of the original cast. I will miss Charlie Sheen as “Charlie” and will not be tuning in; you will find me in the re-runs.

    • laura

      Same for me. Kutcher will kill this show.

      • john smith

        Couldnt agree more i have watched all 8 seasons and was very fond of this show but since theyve removed charlie i have no interest in the show anymore plenty of other good comedy shows out their

      • Kat

        I kind of thought Charlie killed this show by, you know, unraveling.

      • pecca macca

        Respectfully…if the shows dies, it is Charlie’s fault…how ironic. Kutcher will give it his all, and it may work. Remember “Spin City”? Lots of people said that Sheen replacing M.J. Fox would not work, but it did for awhile. I’ll tune in just to see if there is any chemistry between the actors.

      • mags

        Kutcher can’t act.

    • gary

      Come on now! Give the man a chance. Sheen was great, but he obviously didn’t want it anymore. I love this show and can’t wait for it to resume!!! The whole cast is good. Hope it goes another 8 years :~) Oh yeah, I agree – Demi Moore is smokin’ hot!!

    • glj

      yep agree, IMHO, this will last one season and be killed. I hope I am wrong, but do not think so.

  • bobbyv

    @ Clete: Marrying Demi Moore WAS winning the lottery….twenty years ago!!!

  • Abby

    I wonder how they’ll spin charlie being gone, and who Ashton will be in relation to them all – as long as Berta & Evelyn are still on it! yay! I hope this show kicks ass and charlie slinks even further into the gutter!

    • 2 and a Half Writers

      Here’s how we work him in: he’s the scandalously young love interest of Charlie’s mom who is like 70. They announce wedding plans, prompting Charlie to go insane, killing his mother. He is then locked up for life, and Kutcher, having no other old rich ladies to glom onto, decides to hang at the pad, maybe head down to the room in the basement snd spark a doobie.

      • pecca macca

        Ha ha love it! Or how about they do a prince and pauper thing…Charlie has an epiphony about his empty and shallow life and trades places with a b list actor who then precedes to take over his family, life and home…hilarity ensues! What will Berta think!?

      • 2 and 3/4 writers

        My guess is Kutcher’s character turns up as the illegitimate son of one of Charlie Harper’s early trysts in his younger days. The mother of Kutcher’s character sues for child support and Charlie goes broke. He has to sign over the house and ends up a homeless bum somewhere in NY City never to be seen again.

    • It’s Kelso…not Einstein!

      I really want to see the interaction between Ashton’ character and Berta. Also between Evelyn. The potential is there as long as the writing is good.

      • Dan

        That’s the first thing I thought of too. Berta and Evelyn will go all gaga over this younger guy. The scenes will be great.

    • David L.

      Very true. This show is now “jumping the shark”. Charlie was very good. Everything Ashton touches turns to crap. Whenever Ashton is not sure of how to say a line, he just yells it.

    • wiseguy

      It’s just a dream of Jon Cryer’s character, folks. The past 8 seasons will be revealed as a figment of Jon’s imagination as he lies in the hospital bed in a coma. So Charlie Harper in his dream looks like Charlie Sheen but when Jon wakes up, he will be surprised to see that the real Charlie Harper looks just like Ashton Kutcher and he’s not his brother but a cousin who is over-staying in his house!

      • ELL

        I like this one. Leaves out any opportunity for Charlie to return…good one!

  • J

    Kutcher was “exited”? Really, that’s what he said? Or maybe he was exCited….um, spellcheck anyone?

    • pecca macca

      Whajt ef dey dint haver speel churk/

    • jofus

      …um, ‘exited’ is a word. not the word that was intended, but a word nonetheless. spellcheck would have been happy.

  • C. E. Orr

    I don’t know what all the fuss is about (from fans of the show). Ashton is a very capable comic actor, with emphasis on ‘actor’. I was a fan of his pranks on Punked and think his sense of humor will fit in nicely. Charlie Sheen used his droll side to get laughs and as one poster pointed out his serious work shines. I wish him well and hope to see him in the movies, too. And, lastly, any show, that makes people laugh, (especially with the interplay of the supporting cast’s involvement that has not been mentioned in this media circus), deserves a second chance. After all, just as during the depression movies kept people’s minds off their troubles, this show does a little of that in spades.

    • pecca macca

      Yeah I agree. Let’s give Charlie a chance. He could well rise above this. Might be just the open door he needs to do new projects. I wouldn’t count him out yet. Two years from now, folks won’t remember or care about any of this stuff.

  • Lisa

    LOSER!

    • M.J.

      WINNING!

      • Charlie

        ITS MY TIGER BLOOD!

    • pecca macca

      Troll!

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