Charlie Sheen, dead and buried in the 'Two and A Half Men' season premiere?

charlie-sheen-lying-down

Oh boy, the first episode of Two and A Half Men could be a doozy. After rumors swirled online that creator Chuck Lorre could kill off Charlie Sheen’s character to make way for Ashton Kutcher, Deadline is now reporting that a funeral is, indeed, in the works for the comedy’s ninth season premiere on Sept. 19. The not-so dearly departed? Sheen’s Charlie Harper, of course.

Apparently, the episode will reportedly open with a memorial service attended by many of Charlie’s girlfriends and that his beachfront property will subsequently go up for sale. Potential buyers will include real-life celebrities and stars from Lorre’s other shows, and that Kutcher’s character will also tour the property. We can pretty much put two-and-two together from here: Kutcher snatches it up, Alan and Jake beg to stay, and mayhem resumes!

Sadly, Warner Bros. TV — the studio that produces the hit comedy — and CBS are not commenting, though it certainly wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for Lorre to kill off Charlie. (In fact, the original rumor was that Sheen’s alter-ego would drive off a cliff). After all, a fatal car accident was used to explain the sudden departure of Valerie Harper in the comedy Valerie’s Family in 1987. Harper disagreed with the direction the producers wanted to take the comedy, so they killed her off in a car crash. She was replaced by Sandy Duncan.

Lucky for Lorre, plot spoilers — whether they are wrong or dead right — shouldn’t affect the comedy’s premiere, which will no doubt attract millions of old and new fans.

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Comments (496 total) Add your comment
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  • TR

    I’d hate to see him killed off…but then again, I’m sentimental.

    • Marko

      Look at me now, look at me now. I’m gettin paper!

      • Tom

        who’s really going to watch this show without charlie? get real

      • AcaseofGeo

        Marko, I’m not sure people “get” your C.B. ref. Anyway, Haloe makes a good point even though she is a BOT. I wouldn’t be able to occasionally brouse the syndicated episodes of this raunchy comedy if they killed off Charlie. It would feel odd. I do realize death is a fact of life, its just my opinion.

      • Mike

        @Tom – I still can’t figure out who watched it WITH Charlie!

      • harry

        LOL!!!

      • D

        I think Charlie was the most disgusting thing on this show. I just love all the other characters and will enjoy it without him.

      • LILI

        D are you sure you are not the disgusting one ? Ha.
        Don’t answer already know the answer : Yes YOU ARE.

      • mike124

        Wow, guo, that’s fantastic ’cause celebrities and millionaires are better people with better track records in love……NOT.

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      • SNIKT!

        This actually confirms Sheen’s accussations of Lorre. To kill of the character is immature and spiteful; not professional in the least.

        Sheen may be a pompous, drug unfused a hole, but Lorre is obviously a first class pr ick as well.

      • crankybot

        lili…you have the iq of a turnip..

      • crankybot

        you think this means its the end for sheen for the show???…you forget bobby from dallas….they thought he was dead and gone…until his death was just a long dream..

      • Tom

        This is what happens when you call the producers kids ugly.

      • Jeff M.

        Kutcher snatches it up, Alan and Jake beg to stay, and mayhem resumes! This is the worst idea ever. Give me a break Alan begs a total stranger to stay in the house. Give me a break. If this is the best that they can come up with then I hate to say it but I wont be watching after the 1st show. God I hope it is better than what this is saying

      • suz.e.

        I’m looking forward to Ashton. I just wish they wouldn’t kill Chralie off. Maybe he could join the peace corps. or travel the world following various women around.

      • oxirix

        Two and a Half Men is filmed in front of a live ostrich.

      • Latino

        This show was oriented to a certain audience, where killing the main character does not fit any script, neither replacing it with a goofy performer which audience is much younger and would not understand the show. In short, the essence of Two and a Half Men is gone, and its ratings along with it…

    • KikiD

      Looking forward to watching the new show. Hopefully they write a humiliating death for the Charlie Harper character. We can’t stand watching that toothless drug hack on the reruns anymore. Good riddance you washed up POS

      • KikiD is garbage

        boo disgusting KikiD go hide yourself pathetic thing.

      • tracy

        Agreed Kiki. I never watched the show because of the wife beating racist. Maybe I’ll check it out now.

      • BRBSanDiego

        Charlie was the show. Allen is just a guy who does a gay act. The kid is too old to be funny anymore. the chicks were usually hot. The cameos are great. Charlie carried the whole lame ass crew. It is over. He is rich; his family is rich; who gives a damn about working except for ego satisfaction.

      • Retta

        Your right, many of us had enough of him a long time ago.
        He had it all and still that was not good enough for him.
        He deserves what he gets.

      • EM

        Can’t wait for the season to start..no more trashy Charlie. Hope they continue to clean-up the show!

      • David

        Lol @ EM. What you work for the network? Can’t think of anyone who would think that show stands a chance w/o charlie. and who would buy a new rich person buying a beach house and letting that idot an hisi kid stay? yeah no. Ill be watching Charlie’s roast anyway!

      • Jeff M.

        Charlie and Alan Harper together is what made the show work I doubt they will last more than 20 shows before it gets canned. I like Ashton but I dont see a good fit here.

      • James Triore

        Charlie was the show. HE is a very talente white latin man. Sadly he has a serious drug problem. When drugs rule your life you can be a pr*ck and A**H*** too.
        Take the drugs out of his life and he is a very nice man. The whole Sheen/Estevez family is wonderful.

      • Latino

        You are so mixed up ! This is not “what do you think of Charlie Sheen”, this is about Charlie Harper and Two and a Half Men….

    • Frank Sausage

      Winning!

      Charlie Sheen — what a fool.

      • Tom

        Winning!
        Chuck Lorre — Ugly kids.

      • Chris

        Whining!
        Franks Sausage – what a tool.

    • keithb

      The ultimate way to kill Charlie off would be erotic asphyxiation.

      • Mahhn

        or choke to death on nuts LOL
        crossing the street looking at an I-thing in his hands.
        suicide would best fit him though, like he did to his career!

      • jimmymax

        He should do a David Carradine, that would suit him.

    • Dill Weed

      7 gram rocks just weren’t in the budget.

    • filids

      Nooo, ok kill off Charlie, but Allen should inherit or buy it money left by Charlie. Then Ashton could be the new roommate.

      • di

        INDEED!, & the show will NOY be the same without Charlie, his debauchery &and lack of respect for anything is what made the show! Who else would push the bucket further than he did? to h-ll with Kutcher!

      • Juan R

        Agreed but the word roommate is gay…maybe house guest like alan used to be…charlie dies or went to marry rose or another girlfriend and went to live permanently somewhere in europe…or something else that couldve happened….hopefully lorre figures out something better than my idea

    • Charlie Fan

      Charlie has issues, but he was a big part of the show. As as for Ashton: never have been a fan. Not sure why. Haven’t ever seen anything special to ‘draw me in’. I’m sure Ashton fans will blast me for that, but just my opinion. I can’t help myself…I am a Charlie fan. Even with all the craziness and lack of good judgement, I just keep lovin’ him. Here’s hoping he gets it together and really is the winner he thinks he is now.

      • Juan R

        Im a charlie fan too…lets face it the show will never be the same without sheen but ill still watch the show as I am a fan of two and a half men.cant wait for 8th season to come out on dvd…a true fan would have all seasons such as myself…we’ll miss sheen but il still watch the show to support ratings

    • MPBerry

      Don’t you think they’ll play it up like he’s dead but by the end of the episode you’ll find out he’s had to fake his death & run off & hide ’cause his big mouth or bad habits have gotten him into some sort of ‘Some Like It Hot’ kind of trouble?

  • reel_deal

    Will this be on EW every month UNTIL the premiere, the rumors for months
    (reported here) were swirling, give it a rest

    • LMFAO

      You have Sheenis envy.

    • Luis

      my thoughts exactly.

      • Matt

        You have thoughts?

  • Flip

    There is no need to watch this show without Charlie Sheen.

    • Michael

      There was never a need to watch this show.

      • DTO

        Huzzah!!!

      • charlotte

        My sentiments exactly.

      • TJCrinc

        whats two and a half men? honestly dont know why people watch.

      • PZ

        I have yet to watch one episode. lol

      • Mike

        Yeah I never watched either, but I may have to tune into the premiere just to witness the train wreck. lol

      • AcaseofGeo

        You’re all basically liars. OF COURSE you watch this show. Or shall I instead think you’re all no-life idiots who just post on every topic whether or not they are educated on said topic. Enough bashing the show; we’re not talking about “LOST” here, which is a TRULY BASHABLE WASTE PIECE of TRASH.

      • Cassie

        @AcaseofGeo, you are joking right? Because that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Two and a Half Men better than Lost? Only if you’re unable to understand Lost.

    • Brett

      I never watched the show with Charlie Sheen. I always had somebody else with me when I watched.

      • lrltree

        Hilarious!

    • Darby

      I will watch because I love me some Zippy!!!!!

    • Lydia

      Couldn’t disagree more. Charlie’s character was predictible and done a million times. Jon Cryer is actually funny. Get off Charlie’s D*CK. By worshipping him, you won’t become him….You Charlie fans crack me up.

      • SoooFunny

        Funny thing is most of you women talking about Charlie being such a a*hole and such are the same women that date men just like him and moan about it to everyone. You women crack me up. Have a dose of reality.

      • David

        Are you retarted? I mean seriously Cryer is so annoying the only thing that is gfunny is the jokes Charlie made about him. W/o charlie Cryer is and will be lost.

      • BIGMOMMA1

        LOVE CHARLIE SHEEN!!!!!! SUCKS HE IS OFF THE SHOW. HE MADE THE SHOW WHAT IT IS. TRUST AND BELIEVE IT WILL FLOP NOE. AND YES I’M ALL OVER SHEEN’S D**K!

      • Ali

        I agree. Charlie character was the anchor – the reason they were all there – but Cryer is the funny one. And he’s so humble…

      • Cassie

        @SoooFunny You women? Ladies and gentlemen, we have an absolute tool!

    • Donna Baker

      I totally agree…

  • Jane

    That is one serious f-u from Chuck Lorre to Charlie Sheen. Can’t blame him for completely shutting the door on cameos.

    • Marie Currie

      Chuck Lorre is one of the biggest passive-agressive asshole on this industry and it is well-known..so this writing is predictable and pathetic..RIP Two and a Half Men.

    • Jackson

      The final FU will be when Two and a Half Men is cancelled after next season. It will prove the show’s success was attributed more to CS than CL.

      • corwinsr

        Oh really? Let’s compare the two’s TV success.

        Chuck Lorre: My Two Dads, Grace Under Fire, Cybill, Dharma & Greg, Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory.

        Charlie Sheen: The last two years (worst) of Spin City
        and Two and a Half Men.

        It’s very clear with who talent lies and who lies about their talent.

      • Justsayin

        @corwinsr all your post proves is that chuck lorre’s only talent is selling the same recycled sitcom garbage to all the knuckle dragging mouth breathers for 30 yrs.

      • From those with means…

        @Justsayin Your messiah hasn’t made the world socialist yet so making money in Hollywood is still #1. As corwinsr points out, viewers are still buying what Chuck Lorre is selling so despite your elitist, condescending view point, your statements are only opinion, not fact. Now quit trying to save the little people from themselves and get out there and take some money from the rich!

      • Louise Michel

        we will do corporate BS like Lorre can f…K themselves pretty hard
        p.s: hasta la victoria siempre !

      • David

        your agument is baseless refferencing lorre’s old succsses.
        This show is no them. This show had 1 talent and a bunch of smoes who were more joke fodder than funny themselves. Charlie was that show. W/O him it wont last. and yes that will be the fnal fu in this saga.

      • NotFunny

        corwinsr, ummm, never watched any of those shows, now what was your point again?

      • Chris

        My Two Dads? REALLY?

        Way to start off your post with an example that shows how weak your point is.

        Hilarious!

      • RaRa

        @Chris – “My Two Dads” was not a bad show. It probably would have gone a lot further if the teenaged star (I forget her name) hadn’t been murdered by a stalker.

      • RaRa

        Sorry, my bad, Staci Keanan wasn’t the one killed by a stalker. I must be confusing her with someone else.

      • faye

        Chuck Lorre had to let him go.. Jon Cryer will do fine..hes funny. Will watch and then judge it. Never been a Sheen fan..

        i guess his real life ibterfers with his acting life. Lorre has had some great show in the past. Time the studios have the smarts to let him go. Years ago CBS had to let Stacy Keitch go for drug problems.. He played Mike Hammer. It was a good show too.

      • @RaRa

        That was Rebecca Schaeffer of My Sister Sam.

  • Louise

    ‘new fans’ ? really Ew ? lmaoooooo
    Anyway not interested anymore by this show, will watch Sheen new projects on the other hand !!

    • JLR

      hey corn, you really gonna call any of these two hacks talented?

      omg dharma and greg! bbt! wait, i can’t hear myself with the overbearing laugh track….

    • Blonde South

      I bet it will have bigger then average ratings for the premier. I hate this show but I want to tune into the premier just to see how they will knock Charlie off the show and what they will do with Ashton Kutcher. But I agree, it’s more likely to lose old fans then gain new ones at this point.

    • David

      Do yourself watch Charlies roast instead.

  • sam

    I hope that they don’t do this. I don’t think that Charlie should come back to the show, but this is a bit much.

    • -hh

      Actually, what my thoughts have been is to have a scene where Charley is driving his car, picks up Ashton … and then they have the car wreck. Charley goes missing and Ashton (wrapped up in bandages, of course) is mistaken to be Charley. Ashton plays along (since there’s all the pretty gals, etc) and when the bandages come off, it is attributed to “needing plastic surgery” from the car wreck – – this sort of car wreck + change the actor has been used on Soap Operas for years.

      Another alternative would be simply to “Darren” him (from Bewitched).

      In either case, Lorre gets to drag out some of the drama…keeps viewers interest high…and have fun watching Sheen stew himself crazy in the juices of there possibly being a chance for him to come back.

      -hh

  • angie

    I could not agree more! Charlie Sheen got what he deserved! Let it go!!!!!

    • Lucyinthesky

      pathetic Angie..

      • Matt

        Hey lucy, get back in the sky. You’re better at making attention-starved message board names than commenting on ANYTHING. You think the Runaways would like Sheen? Lame.

      • Lucyinthesky

        They would freaking flove him but they would despise you, c’est la vie.

    • David

      Your right he got rich and no he has his independance. And He is still making money.

  • angie

    what’s your problem Lucy? Ricky not home from the Tropicana yet? lol

    • Mephysto

      Ok, by that reference, I am gonna say Angie is in her 70s…. Which makes her the perfect target audience for CBS

      • Lyndsey

        Heck, I Love Lucy is still airing reruns! I don’t think they’ve ever not been on the air since the original premiere! And it’s still hilarious!

    • Right—

      It’s not like I Love Lucy wasn’t seen in reruns by millions for decades.

      • steph

        please tell me you people can spot a frigging beatles reference. i am 27, btw.

    • reree

      Thanks for my morning laugh Angie!

  • Darin

    Well viewers are gonna be killing off the show after a season at the most. The show will never get the ratings that it got with Charlie Sheen and the network will end up canceling it. Kutcher only signed for one season. Even he knows that it won’t go more than a season. He’s just trying to cash in this season. Chuck Lorre sucks.

    • Scott

      Kutcher signed on for only one season because, oddly enough, he understands the business aspects of his trade. If the show tanks, he can walk away after one season with no regrets. If the show is successful, he is sitting on a huge renegotiation and he will have all the leverage. Either way he wins.

      • Baker1

        Good point, and Lorre still gets to kill off Charlie on national television.

      • David

        Thats why it will piss Chuck loree off to no end if Charlie’s rost gets bigger ratings

    • Spiker715

      Agreed Darin! The show will tank without Charlie. Lorre killing him off is just childish. Charlie is not a person I would bet against. I’m certain that Charlie’s roast will get much better ratings! RIP, 2 1/2 Men!

  • Rach

    I think the show will go on with no issues. It’s really an ensemble anyway, not a one man show.

    • WBMike

      Agreed. Allen, Berta and Evelyn were funny in that show and not necessarily ‘supporting’ Charlie. I, for one, am interested in how this works out with both Charlie’s death (deserved, but hope it’s funny) and Kutcher’s character.

  • angie

    Glad they are killing off Charlie. But it won’t even make it 1 more season without him. Killing Charlie is really going to pi** off Sheen! Gives me pleasure! But I am tired of hearing about him and reading about him so I am going to bed. Goodnight Lucy! lol

  • Jenny

    Life is such a sweet insanity. The more you learn, the less you know.

  • Charlie Harper’s Ghost

    I’m not dead — just hung over.

  • Dean Martin

    Well really, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. What could be funnier for the fans than the death of the beloved lead character on a popular sitcom? In terms of chuckle power, that ranks only slightly behind a bus full of orphans going over a cliff.

    • Sam

      Exactly! Ho ho ho, what a comedy!

    • CX316

      Think 10 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter, or Cheers. Both of them had to kill off beloved characters, although in both cases it was because the actor actually died. They deal with it, have a few serious moments, then start back in with the jokes.

      • natacha

        10 simple rules for dating my teenager daughter did not survive without john Ritter itwas cancelled, two and a half men will not survive without charlie sheen.

      • JG

        It was 8 simple rules not 10.

    • MPBerry

      What are you, the comedy police?! Don’t tell me what’s funny! This is the only thing Chuck Lorre’s ever done that may actually BE funny!

  • Puzzled

    Don’t like the premise that the beach house goes up for sale. Wasn’t is said in a few of the episodes that Charlie willed his home to Alan? Also why would a new buyer want a mooch and his son to live in his house? It would work best if Ashton’s character was a relative who gets stuck with Alan and Jake when he inherits the home. (Charlies secret love child)

    • Hey Now

      Charlie always made jokes about hooking up with his teachers in High School. Ashton could be a long lost son of one of those daliances.

    • Lydia

      My prediction, he has no will. Ashton will be his son. Alan gets excited b/c he thinks he inherited the house, but DOH, Ashton gets the house…Alan is stuck begging to stay, and Alan is stuck with an even younger, better looking version of Charlie.

      • Baker1

        I like that.

      • Jen

        Lydia there is and there will always be ONE Charlie Harper..rip Two and a Half Men.

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