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The bar for “funny” on TV is rarely lower than on award shows, where only the most cautious of jokes tend to slip through. But this year, the Emmys seemed more cautious than ever: Alec Baldwin bowed out from the ceremony after his telephone hacking scandal joke was cut from the opening skit (Leonard Nimoy took his place). And the running gag behind usual award show rebel Ricky Gervais’ taped segment was about how he was not allowed to insult anybody. Still, some witty lines made the cut and here they are:
– “There’s Betty White, she’s the reason we start the show at 5 p.m.” — host Jane Lynch.
– “I don’t know what I’m going to talk about in therapy now” — Modern Family‘s Julie Bowen.
– “Oh, poor little Ricky Gervais, someone didn’t get enough hugs from Mommy and somehow it’s Hollywood’s fault” — Lynch.
– “I was wondering where the half man was” — Ashton Kutcher when he “accidentally” showed up on The Office set.
– “A lot of people are very curious why I’m a lesbian … Ladies and gentleman, the cast of Entourage” — Lynch.
– “There are so many movie stars doing TV now that TV stars have been forced into providing voices for video games. And those very same video games are then turned into movies starring the very same people who put the TV stars out of work in the first place. Hakuna Matata, my friends, circle of life?” — Lynch.
– Noting that he was recently approached by gay couple thanking him because Modern Family makes viewers more tolerant, showrunner Steve Levitan agreed: “There’s nothing wrong with a loving, committed relationship between an old man and a hot young woman — and looking around the room tonight, I see many of you agree.”
Of course, as readers pointed out below, the best joke of the night wasn’t verbal — Amy Poehler and company going on stage when their names were read as nominees.
It wasn’t a man who approached Steve Levitan, it was a gay couple. If you screw up the set up the joke is only half as funny.
He said a couple. Not a man. And the fact that you need to point out that its a gay couple proves how prejudiced you are, despite your probably beliefs that you are, like, “SO openminded.”
Umm…i’m afraid not. “Gay” was a key to the set up because it gets you thinking he’s referring to tolerance of gays. And so when the punchline is about an older man and hot younger woman, that’s what makes it funny.
It says gay couple now. I’m assuming it was wrong before and got changed? I wish EW would make a comment when they fix things like that.
If that’s the case you must be one ugly a$$ son of a b!tch with zero personality so why don’t you just go to home depot, buy some rope, and hang yourself with it
First off, I love how you completely misunderstood the joke. Saying that they were a gay couple is what sets you up for the punchline. Secondly, I also love how you think she’s prejudice because she pointed out that they said gay couple instead of man. What does that even have to do anything? It’s what was exactly said in the telecast, my mind is blown right now thanks to you.
You NOT getting the irony: now THAT’S funny!
The one about The Entourage cast is funny cause’ it’s true. So many STD’s there.
isn’t it becuase they’re a bunch of douchebags?
Ugly doughebags with STD’s to be exact.
At least be real….UGLY these particular douchebags are NOT!
How about the announcer: “Game of Thrones is shot on location in Awesomeland.”
This one was my favorite too. =)
That announcer commentary is gold. I’m glad they stuck with it (from last year, that is).
Actually he was not funny…at all
Was too! Poopy head.
he was amusing. whats the alternative? just the normal rundown of a winner’s past nominations? i think this makes it a bit more fun.
I heard “Auckland” and i thought hmm interesting fact…haha Awesomeland.
I liked the Jimmys fight, the best comedy actress on stage beauty pageant (cuz funny girls aren’t pretty!! They’re not!!) and the great Italian history segment … from the height of the Borgias to whatever Jersey Shore is (cuz people DO look at Snooki and think “Lucretia?”) I think the Emmys should have gone with more live musical numbers. Ooof! And now I’m gonna watch the encore presentation of Breaking Bad. Excuse me.
Shouldn’t the joke said something about Snooki being a marble attached to a shooter?
I am ashamed of being Italian whenever those idiots are mentioned.
Thank you, Frank. You give me hope. HOw hs TV stooped so low – and it’s not the only show.
You should just be ashamed of being Italian in general. Italy is one of the most beautiful countries in the world, it’s a shame it’s full of Italians.
funny girls arn’t pretty???? Have you ever seen Sofia Vergara in an interview? She is hilarious.
@Valentine … I thought it was Tina Fey who said that funny girls aren’t supposed to be pretty, and Amy Poehler did a take off on that with the beauty pageant. And that’s why it was funny. I wasn’t serious in the parenthetical aside, which I hoped the multiple unnecessary exclamation points would emphasize. As for Italians, they brought us out of the Dark Ages and ushered us into the modern era. How is Jersey Shore even part of that illustrious history? I thought the concept of the script was good …
The comedy actress pageant bit stole the show. Funniest moment by far.
I agree! Favorite moment of the night for me.
Pure, unadulterated joy! So so funny and unexpected.
totally, the actresses completely committed to the bit.
Thanks for getting that it was a pageant spoof. Most online reviews are saying that they were all pretending that they thought they won.
That’s silly. Even if they were confused initially, it was made pretty obvious once the tiara, sash, and flowers showed up.
Okay, that’s hard to believe. I mean, they had a friggin’ tiara and roses for God’s sake! People can be so dense.
Loved it. For me that was the only really funny bit. That and Jane’s foil wardrobe.
No to mention the fact that Melissa McCarthy said that it was the first and best pageant she’d been in, or something to that affect.
Didnt they do something similar last year with mustaches and other funny props? The ladies always pull through with the funny.
A couple years ago, in the supporting actress in a comedy category, the ladies all wore weird glasses or something like that.
For me, the best moments were Jane’s remark about the Entourage cast, the Best Actress in a Comedy nominees getting on stage, and the beautiful music during the In Memoriam segment. The jokes, overall, were really bad – mostly boring show.
Agreed–but I thought one of the funniest moments was when Paltrow said “the prompter is down so I’m going to ad lib” and then said “Here are the nominees for best comedy”……way to think on your feet Gwynnie!!!
“Hi! I’m Julianna Margulies, otherwise known as the funniest woman in television.” *deadpans* “I’m here this evening to present the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. We’ve got that kid from Glee, and that guy from Pretty in Pink…”
Even she was like, “What the crap am I saying this for?”
That was awkward, and her dress looked like crap.
Eh… I dunno. I thought her dress was kinda cool for what it was. She did her best with that so-so patter and her husband is pretty hot.
The dress looked like a powder room wastebasket but she looked pretty anyway.
@coogie – a powder room wastebasket! Perfect analogy. My son and I were wondering why she was wearing a funnel with crystals growing on the sides. It looked very uncomfortable.
I thought it was some sort of orthotic device.
I thought her dress looked like a lampshade.
the ricky gervais joke was great! i love that someone gave it back to him.
By far, the funniest moment was Amy Poehler running on stage during the nominations; then turning the whole Best Actress bit into a beauty pageant.
Next were the two Jimmy’s fighting followed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Anjelica Huston arguing in the 50/50 commercial. (Something like “I’m moving in. I’m Your Mother.” “No you’re not and that’s why.)
50/50 looks like it’s going to be really excellent.
I was SO bummed that they gave each variety/comedy series only 15 seconds of screen time each! Seeing the funny reel of writer’s names for shows like the Daily Show and Conan is seriously THE only reason i tune in each year because they always come up with a funny concept. everything about the Emmys this year (besides modern fam) was a complete FAIL.
Why can’t Conan or Ricky Gervais host all award shows? With them, the writing and delivery is always great.
Or Jimmy Fallon. He was awesome last year!!
Jimmy Fallon is the best awards show host I’ve ever seen and I don’t even watch his show or ever saw him on SNL. But last year he ROCKED!
Hollywood cant laugh at itself, so Ricky is out. I would love for Jimmy to host again. He is charming and funny.
So … they let most winners drone on and on and on and on, while Martin Scorcese rushes thorugh his acceptance speech because he thinks HE’S gonna be “musicked off” the stage? Gimme a break. The man’s a genius. Let him talk as long as he wants.
My nomineee for one of the best moments was when Mrs. Steve Levitan gave her death stare look into the camera. I don’t know if it was planned or not but—if looks could kill.
Yeah, she’s got pretty good facial comic timing. And she gave her stare not once, but twice.
Twice! I don’t think it was planned, but obviously she knew the cameras were there and she just did it spontaneously… what’s funny is her husband (on stage) didn’t know why there was so much laughter… both times. She was great.
Twice! I don’t think it was planned, but obviously she knew the cameras were there and she just did it spontaneously… what’s funny is her husband (on stage) didn’t know why there was so much laughter… both times. She was great. That must be a fun household.
Okay, my comment wouldn’t post and Shannon’s wasn’t there when I tried to post mine the first time… I guess there are a lot of comments going up at once… servers can’t handle it.
That’s cool, Squishmar. Great minds think alike…and at the same time apparently. Freaky. And it’s funny that your comment showed up twice as you were pointing out a double death stare.
I liked Jane Lynch saying she was Charlie Sheen’s therapist for eight years and obviously it didn’t work… Funny Stuff!!
Lynch’s Gervais/Hollywood joke wasn’t one of the best. It wasn’t even funny.
Yep. It ironically demonstrated the negative and unfunny effects of censorship.
I agree. The “hollywood’s fault” line was directed at gervais not playing the game, it was petty and unfunny. Really..”mommy didn’t give him enough hugs?” lame ad-lib.
. He’s brilliantly funny and the golden globes roast was the best awards show I’ve seen. I loved it when he dissed the tourist. That film was awful.
I am glad you agree. Cause I thought his censorship thing was hysterical, but Lynch’s retort was not funny. Ricky doesn’t like to celebrate fame like everyone does in that room and instead choses to mock it. More power to him I say.
I liked the joke but also agree that RG was brilliant hosting the Globes. I like that he makes fun of the crap he got back from the Hollywood folk who can’t take a joke.
I hated it too. What, so people who don’t go along with the happy-go-lucky norm “didn’t get enough hugs”. WTFever.
+1
that’s as funny as your granny falling down the stairs
Agreed. The “joke” was petty and mean.
that “joke” was probably the lamest of them all….it was quite amateurish. ohh, someone is sarcastic and witty, they weren’t hugged as a child. yawn. Ricky’s performance at the GG last year proves actors take themselves too seriously.
agree