'Parks and Recreation': A celebration of every ill-fated exploit of Jerry Gergich

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Season 2, Episode 11: “Tom’s Divorce”

i.  He pays Tom a compliment. Everyone’s weirded out by it.

LESLIE: Here’s what I think we should do. Everyone should go around and say one thing that they love about Tom.

JERRY: I’ll start. I really wish I could have your body.

TOM: What?

APRIL: Ewww, like tied up, naked in your basement?

JERRY: No. I mean, you’re in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.

LESLIE: Well, that was weird, Jerry.

Season 2, Episode 12: “Christmas Scandal”

i.   Leslie instructs everyone to go to the bathroom before they get in their costumes, looking at Jerry.

LESLIE: Everyone’s going to do Santa for two hours, so I would just advise everyone before you get in your costume to go to the bathroom so we can avoid what happened last year.

JERRY: It was just farts.

Season 2, Episode 13: “The Set-Up”

i. When April takes the job to be Ron’s assistant, Jerry is moved to April’s old small desk.

JERRY: I want to talk to Ron about the size of my desk.

APRIL: Jerry, you have to schedule an appointment.

JERRY: How about now?

APRIL: Ron’s not here.

JERRY: He’s right there, I can see him.

Season 2, Episode 14: “Leslie’s House”

i.  He doesn’t get invited to her dinner party because he’s boring.

Season 2, Episode 15: “Sweetums”

i.  Jerry tries to praise Nutriyum bars.

APRIL: Oh my god, they’re amazing.

JERRY: They’re more than amazing. They are terrific.

APRIL: Terrific’s not more than amazing, Jerry.

JERRY: No? Well, it’s not less.

ii. Tom criticizes Jerry fashion choices.

TOM: Who am I supposed to ask for fashion advice? Jerry? He wears the same soup stained khakis everyday.

iii.  Jerry discovers that all the pizza is gone. 

JERRY: There’s no pizza left?

TOM: Sorry, Jer, too slow.

ANDY: You want my crust? Here, take this.

JERRY: Nobody even told me the pizza was here. (As he walks away sad, he steps on DJ Roomba and crushes it.)

TOM: JERRY! YOU STEPPED ON DJ ROOMBA!

iv. April and Tom prank Jerry with the Ghost of DJ Roomba.

TOM’S VOICE: Jerry… Jerry…This is the ghost of DJ Roomba… Why did you kill me? … I’m gonna haunt you, Jerry. I’m gonna follow you and play the Black Eyed Peas on a non-stop looooop.”

Season 2, Episode 16: “Galentine’s Day”

i.   Leslie says everyone here is terrible at love.

LESLIE: Some of them have been married for half a century. And, no offense, but everybody here is terrible at love. Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury’s still out on you two, and Jerry, who knows?

JERRY: I’ve been happily married for 28 years. You’ve met my wife, Gail, many times.

LESLIE: Whatever.

Season 2, Episode 17: “Woman Of The Year”

i.  Donna dumps the mail on Jerry’s lunch.  His soup spills.

APRIL:  Jerry, you got soup all over our mail!  Jerk.

ii.    Tom is about to give his presentation.

TOM: Do any of you have pacemakers or a history of epilepsy?

JERRY: “Yes, both.”

TOM: “Anybody? No?”

JERRY: “Both!”

TOM: (not listening) All right. (Starts presentation.)

iii. Tom kicks Jerry out of the presentation.

TOM: Okay, first come, first serve. Who’s in? Jerry?

JERRY: Geez, Tom. If I spend any more than 25 bucks, I gotta ask my wife.

TOM: Jerry, get out.

NEXT PAGE: “Jerry’s face is the symbol of failure.”


Comments (20 total) Add your comment
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  • Carly

    This is awesome. I love moments between April and Jerry. I think it would be fun if Jerry has a hot 20-something daughter, and Tom struggles with liking her, but hating Jerry.

    • Rex_r

      He does have a daughter, Chris (Rob Lowe) dated her for a while.

  • Bri

    This is hilarious! I laughed out loud multiple times while reading this. I can’t wait for tonight’s new episode!

  • whirlybug

    I love Parks & Rec and will be watching tonight, but I disagree with Dan S. that those jokes on Jerry are not mean-spirited. They always make me feel sad for him because the other characters seem to do it for absolutely no reason. Maybe that’s what’s supposed to be funny about it, but it’s the one part of the show’s humor I don’t really like.

    • Teressa Caballero

      You sound like you’re the real world version of Jerry

  • MJ

    This is awesome!
    I love all the Jerry jokes.

  • becca

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  • chris perez

    Jerry has the biggest penis a doctor has ever seen

    • Mark

      When the doctor said that, I laughed and wanted to give Jerry a high five at the same time.

      • EK

        Yes, that was seriously awesome!

  • sascha

    I love Jerry!! I love P + R!!!

  • The Truth

    Like P&R, hate the “hating on Jerry” gimmick. It’s so Family Guy (Meg) and a little Office (Toby) . Been there, seen that.

    • ries

      oh, c’mon. if you are looking for originality, then why are you watching a sit-com? the jerry jokes are waaaay better executed than both of those shows.

      • jake

        Agreed! While the premise is unorginal the execution is perfect.

  • E

    I think the Jerry-jokes work because they are balanced with revelations about Jerry’s personal life, which are always positive. He’s an amazing artist, he’s been happily married for 20-some years, and he has a huge penis. So what if he gets some crap at work? It’s not enough to make you pity him, and that’s why it works.

  • Ruben

    I love the Jerry jokes, his reactions are priceless! But they forgot one from The Flu. After they quarantine Leslie to her office…

    JERRY: You can’t come in here. Leslie, you look tired and you’re all sweaty.

    LESLIE: YOU look tired and YOU’RE all sweaty all the time, what’s your excuse? You wanna go there Jerry?

    JERRY: No.

  • christie

    Parks & Rec is one of the few shows that has an entire cast where I love something about each and every character on the show and get a laugh or a chuckle from nearly everyone each show. But, Donna (and her unholy love for her Mercedes and Jerry’s suffering and hidden talents are gems of the show.

  • Swarmer Termites

    Just wanted to tell you Altogether you have a very tops blog. Thank you heaps.

  • Cat Photos

    I appreciate everything you people are doing. Such imaginative efforts and writing! Keep up all the excellent work guys. I have inserted you to my own blogroll. I really believe it is going to raise the value of my place. Thank you very much for sharing.

  • jean

    Wasn’t it revealed during Leslie’s disciplinary hearing the Jerry’s real name is Gerry? I think it was on his ID badge from when he first started at the Parks Dept. It was mispronounced once and he never corrected it

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