'Parks and Recreation': A celebration of every ill-fated exploit of Jerry Gergich

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Season 2, Episode 19: “Park Safety”

i. Everyone rigs the lottery (nobody puts their names in) so that Jerry has to refill the hummingbird feeders.

LESLIE: I always write my own name… But, just to be safe I do add twenty extra “Jerry’s.”

ii. Everyone makes fun of Jerry for not being in the office.

DONNA: Maybe he fell into the toilet.  Remember when he fell into the toilet?

APRIL (imitating Jerry): “Oh sorry, you guys, sorry I’m late.  I got confused and took a shower AFTER I got dressed.  Because I’m Jerry.”

RON: “David Meyers, the Jewish guy who works at city hall, once told me something. A “schlemiel” is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party.  A “schlimazel” is the guy he spills it on.  Jerry… is both the schlemiel and schlimazel.”

TOM (imitating Jerry): “And then I put my underwear on my head, instead of my butt!”

iii. Jerry gets mugged (or claims he did).

APRIL: That’s how pathetic Jerry is. He can’t even get karma right.

LESLIE: Jerry’s face is the symbol of failure.

iv.In attempting to give a presentation to the staff, Jerry trips over the power cord, accidentally puts his vacation pictures in the slide projector (revealing that he has a time share in Muncie with his wife), says “twout” instead of “trout” (and then explains “My marbles are full of mouth today”), and then bends down to find his glasses, splits his pants, and farts.

v.  It is revealed that Jerry lied about being mugged. He dropped his burrito in the pond and tried to grab it, and awkwardly fell in, hurting himself.

LESLIE (to camera): Damn Jerry!  You jumped in a creek for a burrito?  What would you do for a Klondike bar —  kill your wife?

vi.  The tape of Jerry falling into the creek is shown. When he fell, he was also farting. After retrieving the burrito, he continued to eat it.

vii. Jerry spills a peppermint latte all over himself.

APRIL: You should just directly apply the food to your clothes.

LESLIE: Yay! Making fun of Jerry is back!

Season 2, Episode 20: “Summer Catalog”

i. Jerry submits a picture of Morgan the pedophile and reveals they had dinner together.

JERRY: I will photoshop his face.

APRIL: Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?

Season 2, Episode 21: “94 Meetings”

i.  Saddled with hundreds of meetings, Ron is enlisting everyone to help.  

RON: I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to chip in.

JERRY: Ron, do you need help with anything?

RON: No, we’re good, thanks. In fact, you can head home early.

Season 2, Episode 22: “Telethon”

i.  Leslie says she’ll need everyone’s help for the late night telethon.

JERRY: No. Leslie, please. Tonight’s kind of a big night. You know. All my kids are away.

TOM: Gross!  No!  It’s Jerry’s sex night.  That ruins sex and tonight.

ii. Jerry’s phone has twenty-five lines; everyone else only has to deal with one.

LESLIE:  Congratulations, then.  You get the most lines.  Figure it out, Jerry.

iii. Jerry does an amazing magic trick, taking an egg out of his mouth.  And Leslie breaks the egg, thinking it’s fake.  Then, she wants him to do it again, but he doesn’t have a second egg. He starts to say that he plays the piano really well…

LESLIE: Why are you wasting my time?!  This is really serious.

iv.     Jerry plays the piano beautifully during the telethon. 

LESLIE (interrupting): Okay, all right. Okay. Enough of that racket.

Season 2, Episode 24: “Freddy Spaghetti”

i.  Leslie asks Jerry if he can lift heavy objects.

JERRY: Ooh. My doctor just said I should avoid…

LESLIE: Being a wuss?  Yes. I agree. So go out there and get the equipment out of the truck.

Season 3, Episode 1: “Go Big Or Go Home”

i. Leslie throws Jerry’s painting into the lake.

ii. Leslie storms in and throws Jerry’s coffee in the trash.

iii. Leslie embarrasses Jerry in front of the staff. 

LESLIE: My plan is going to change that and bring the budget back. And the answer has been right in front of us the whole time.

APRIL: Ew, check your testicles?

LESLIE: No, not that. Although that is very good advice. I’m looking at you, Jerry.

Season 3, Episode 2: “Flu Season”

i. A sick Leslie licks everything on Jerry’s desk.

Season 3, Episode 3: “Time Capsule”

i. Leslie asks people what they want to put in the time capsule.

JERRY: These are my mother’s diaries. She lived in Pawnee all of her life, and recorded everything she ever did. So it’s kind of like a living document about the town.

TOM: A disappointingly good idea from Jerry.

ii. April reads Jerry’s mom’s journal.

APRIL: “Jerrald starred in his school production of Peter Pan. He was a beautiful Tinkerbell.”

JERRY: It was an all boy’s school…

iii. Jerry screws up the video recording of the meeting, leaving a blank gap in the middle of it.

Season 3, Episode 6: “Indianapolis”

i.  Tom extends an invitation to the Snakehole for the Feinstein event.

TOM: Club opens at six. Event starts at nine.

JERRY: No, way too late. I will be deep into my bath by then.

LESLIE: Jerry, god, don’t let us picture that.

NEXT PAGE: “Jerry scared all the fish away with his loud personal stories!”

Comments (20 total) Add your comment
  • Carly

    This is awesome. I love moments between April and Jerry. I think it would be fun if Jerry has a hot 20-something daughter, and Tom struggles with liking her, but hating Jerry.

    • Rex_r

      He does have a daughter, Chris (Rob Lowe) dated her for a while.

  • Bri

    This is hilarious! I laughed out loud multiple times while reading this. I can’t wait for tonight’s new episode!

  • whirlybug

    I love Parks & Rec and will be watching tonight, but I disagree with Dan S. that those jokes on Jerry are not mean-spirited. They always make me feel sad for him because the other characters seem to do it for absolutely no reason. Maybe that’s what’s supposed to be funny about it, but it’s the one part of the show’s humor I don’t really like.

    • Teressa Caballero

      You sound like you’re the real world version of Jerry

  • MJ

    This is awesome!
    I love all the Jerry jokes.

  • becca

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  • chris perez

    Jerry has the biggest penis a doctor has ever seen

    • Mark

      When the doctor said that, I laughed and wanted to give Jerry a high five at the same time.

      • EK

        Yes, that was seriously awesome!

  • sascha

    I love Jerry!! I love P + R!!!

  • The Truth

    Like P&R, hate the “hating on Jerry” gimmick. It’s so Family Guy (Meg) and a little Office (Toby) . Been there, seen that.

    • ries

      oh, c’mon. if you are looking for originality, then why are you watching a sit-com? the jerry jokes are waaaay better executed than both of those shows.

      • jake

        Agreed! While the premise is unorginal the execution is perfect.

  • E

    I think the Jerry-jokes work because they are balanced with revelations about Jerry’s personal life, which are always positive. He’s an amazing artist, he’s been happily married for 20-some years, and he has a huge penis. So what if he gets some crap at work? It’s not enough to make you pity him, and that’s why it works.

  • Ruben

    I love the Jerry jokes, his reactions are priceless! But they forgot one from The Flu. After they quarantine Leslie to her office…

    JERRY: You can’t come in here. Leslie, you look tired and you’re all sweaty.

    LESLIE: YOU look tired and YOU’RE all sweaty all the time, what’s your excuse? You wanna go there Jerry?

    JERRY: No.

  • christie

    Parks & Rec is one of the few shows that has an entire cast where I love something about each and every character on the show and get a laugh or a chuckle from nearly everyone each show. But, Donna (and her unholy love for her Mercedes and Jerry’s suffering and hidden talents are gems of the show.

  • Swarmer Termites

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  • Cat Photos

    I appreciate everything you people are doing. Such imaginative efforts and writing! Keep up all the excellent work guys. I have inserted you to my own blogroll. I really believe it is going to raise the value of my place. Thank you very much for sharing.

  • jean

    Wasn’t it revealed during Leslie’s disciplinary hearing the Jerry’s real name is Gerry? I think it was on his ID badge from when he first started at the Parks Dept. It was mispronounced once and he never corrected it

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