'Millionaire Matchmaker' Patti Stanger apologizes for offensive comments about gays

Patti Stanger, star of Bravo’s long-running reality show Millionaire Matchmaker, has issued an apology after making a series of offensive statements about gay men and monogamy on last night’s live season premiere of the cable network’s late-night talk show Watch What Happens: Live. “I am so sorry,” Stanger said in a statement to media watch group The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). “I did not mean to offend anyone with my comments last night on Watch What Happens: Live.”

A spokesperson for Bravo followed that up with a statement from the network. “Bravo regrets the comments expressed by Patti Stanger on Watch What Happens: Live last night. Her comments are not representative of the network’s beliefs and opinions. We apologize for the offense it caused.”

In a question and answer session with fans on the Sunday, Sept. 25, episode, after a gay caller asked about being monogamous in a long distance relationship, Stanger said: “There is no curbing the gays…I have tried to curb you people.” Later in the episode, Stanger alluded to the fact that it was a “compliment” to be straight versus being gay, which visibly flustered host and Bravo executive Andy Cohen.

Stanger is set to appear on HLN’s The Joy Behar Show on Tuesday, Sept. 27, and will likely address the controversy.

Read more:
‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ Patti Stanger gives controversial, uh, ‘advice’ during ‘Watch What Happens: Live’ visit

Comments (66 total) Add your comment
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  • kate middleton

    Andy also named her his “Jackhole” tonight on WWHL. AWKWARD. Can’t stand her.

    • Jethro

      The gal thinks who she is on her show, nothing but smut TV. What makes her qualified to run an agency like this. Her 2 rainbow colored sidekicks are disgraceful to the eye and Patti herself is self-absorbed and down right rude.

      These poor people come on this show and some get blasted for being who they are. BRAVO continues to renew this smut, and why does she have a limo driver?

      Patti is nothing but a bloated lipped Jewish girl who insults her own religion!

  • Mikey M

    She was on Days of Our Lives today too.
    She was horrible.

    • Lo

      she was hyping that appearance on this particular WWHL

      • Jeroen

        I do not want to see what the briefs are cnoerivg, thanks. My main point is that DW may lack credibility for telling people to love their body when he buys into a a very narrow definition of male physical beauty himself. Most people who post as many photos as he does of himself are insecure, perhaps he was fat when he was a kid. For example, if he was fat, he didn’t like it did he, so how was he loving himself for being who he was? How can he tell other people to love themselves for being fat, when he didn’t? That’s what I’m trying to say. If you want everyone to love themselves, then you have to walk the walk. Although I appreciate DW’s message and am a frequent visitor to his site, I am often gobsmacked by how immature and unrealistic his positive energy’ is. I mean, tell someone who is a victim of sexual abuse to love his/her body. Speaking about hypocrisy, in a past talky blog DW visited a bathhouse and made fun of the men who frequented it, poking fun at their ages, choices and appearances. Should men of a certain age not love their bodies or be free to make choices that DW wouldn’t? Regardless, I love the blog, I think it’s a great idea and I support the message. It just needs to be consistent and lived.

  • Jeff Lynch

    Hey, I’m a gay male and I have no trouble with what Pattie said. She’s actually right…gay guys cheat like crazy. It’s not PC to admit it, but it’s true. It really is hard to be a gay guy who doesn’t cheat, because you are a minority, and your heart will be broken over and over again. No one wants to talk about this, but most gay guys I’ve known have been a mix of lost boy and broken, misfit toy…and they think life is just about sex and being young and sleeping with as many different guys as they can. It’s really sad. So — don’t hate on Pattie for telling the truth. This is honestly what gay life is like in most cities.

    • MikeyNYC

      I don’t really care what Pattie said, but I do have a problem with what YOU said. I think you are confused – sleeping around makes one promiscuous, not a cheater. Most of the “gay guys” I know and have known are no more or less unfaithful when in a committed relationship than heterosexuals. As for being a minority, African Americans are a minority, Jeff, does that make them more promiscuous and more prone to cheat? Maybe you are a “mix of lost boy and broken, misfit toy”, but please don’t generalize to the rest of us. Finally, I have a shocking revelation for you, Jeff: many straight men think that life is just about sex and being young and sleeping with as many women as they can! Thankfully gay men in NYC aren’t as self-loathing as you seem to be! I recommend some therapy!

      • Acaseofgeo

        Pattie is RIGHT. I know A LOT of gay male couples and I cannot tell you ONE (SINGLE) COUPLE who’ve been together over 2 years that have been COMPLETELY MONOGAMOUS. So you guys can all cool your tool and face reality. Prove me wrong. I DARE YOU. I don’t think monogamy is a “big” thing for gay males. Men are pigs to begin with and put 2 of them together, well then you have 2 pigs. This is NOT an indictment against gay males or relationships, its just fact and reality. Perhaps a statement could be made about heterosexual males too………how many of THEM are monogamous? But any way, SOMEBODY prove me wrong, and you better be able to back it up because I BET YOU CAN’T….

      • Michael

        Roughly 50 percent of all straight men will cheat on their wives. A signficantly higher percentage of straight men, in committed relationships but not married, will cheat. Why gay men are being singled out when their relationships aren’t considered legitimate in the eyes of nearly half the population is beyond me.

      • Actually…

        Pattie is somewhat correct, but she’s also a stupid, callous b!tch. Most of the gay men I know are indeed like Jeff has described to some degree (hello Manhunt, Adam4Adam, DudesNude, etc), and even though the “broken misfit boy toy” description may be a bit of hyperbole—it is to a degree, accurate. ESPECIALLY in NYC, Mikey—who are you trying to kid? That’s not to say that gay men can’t have loving, long-lasting relationships—but 1) more than 5 years with the same person is regarded as an anomaly and you know it, 2) pretty much EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP that lasts that long (if not sooner) becomes “open” in nature, whether it’s by mutual agreement or by force. Gay men DO have a nature of being more promiscuous—they wear it like a badge of honor in most cases. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all, since sexual expression and exploration is both healthy and fun. That is, as long as it’s done within a context of self-acceptance and “this is what I enjoy,” as opposed to “this is what I exist for.” Sex IS important, but it shouldn’t be destructive or disruptive.

      • ‘Lish

        Get over yourself already. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. Last I heard this was still a free country.

      • So

        would you still think it’s a free country and you can say anything you like if your neighbor got on a nationally televised program and talked about your profound lack of parenting skills, ‘Lish? Or how you do a sh!tty job at everything you do at work? Or how you’re fat and should be denied health insurance? People have a habit of defending the freedom of all speech—the thing is, there’s no such thing. If there were—we wouldn’t have libel laws.

      • djm

        Well acaseofgeo have I got news for you! I’ve been in my gay relationship for over 9 years and neither of us cheat or stray nor do we have an open relationship. Generalize and stereotype much? Oh, and for the record – most of my straight friends have cheated on their significant others at some point in time or another – it goes both ways.

      • bfd

        @acaseofgeo, my brother and BIL have been together for 20 years. Their friends M&W have been together for 30. Another couple I know have been together for 15. All monogamous.

      • Acaseofgeo

        @ djm and bfd…..are you ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN without DOUBT that their relationships have been COMPLETELY monogamous? I’d wager they’re not but its not something I nor you can prove OR disprove. And at DJM, I CLEARLY also included a comment about heterosexual males too, meaning I think this is about men in general NOT just gay men. Oh, and I HATE the word “much” as the questioning end of a sentence.

    • dee

      Oh please. You are such a troll, anyone who always starts off with i’m a….. (what ever the topic is about) is always a plant or fake. The fact you use your full is always pretty suss too.

    • G.A.

      I didn’t find Pattie’s comments offensive. I find Andy Cohen to be a hypocrite. The shows he has produced for Bravo are more offensive than anything Pattie says. That’s her gig. She find wives for millionaires for god’s sake. She is not Dr. Phil. Her comments were more appropriate for a private dinner party, than a stupid half hour show with no cultural value whatsoever. Jeff Lewis is more racist and offensive (and funnier) than Pattie has ever been and I’ve never seen him get called out.

    • Hal

      When a group is told for centuries that they can’t get married, what do you expect to happen?

      • yyhws

        @Hal – why, because they’re animals unable to control themselves? BS.

    • Strepsi

      I have been in a monogamous relationship for nearly 20 years, and legally married for 8 (because I live in Canada, a country that delivers what the U.S. promises… equality). So stifle it.

      “Misfit toy”? Gay men in the city? Hell, we’re in the majority in many parts.. Agree, you’re either self-loathing, a troll, or a plant.

    • Rachel

      Sounds like this comment is coming out of the horses mouth…. Literally. Patty- we know you or one of your fugly minions whote that to do some damage control. Patti stanger is such a zero.

    • Jae

      I was about to say this. Gay men are men first and MEN cheat if they can and gay men statistically more than straight but only by a little, She shouldn’t be taken to town for calling it like it is.

      • Monty

        Jae, you just come off soundling like a manhater. Where are people getting this 50% of men in committed relationships cheat? You know what? 76% of statistics used in an argument are made up on the spot. See above for 2 examples…

        I think people are confusing the “50% of men in a committed relationship cheat” line from “50% of marriages end in divorce”. But all marriages do not end due to infedility, and not all infidelity is on the part of the man. Don’t just throw out statistics that you heard and assume they are factual.

        Several people have managed to make themselves appear quite stupid on this thread. Take a step back, stop bastardising genders and sexual preferences, and get back to the heart of the issue: This Patti Stanger woman is pretty stupid.

      • BobS

        Straight men would cheat just as often as gay men cheat if they had the same opportunities. Gay culture is even more sexually oriented than mainstream straight culture. Men (gay or straight) are basically sexual dogs…..women are the cats. When you get two dogs together, it is simply easier to find a common sexual ground than with a dog and a cat.

    • Nathan

      But not for EVERYONE. Don’t perpetuate the stereotype because that’s your experience. There are others of us who have not had this experience who prefer monogamy and have been successful at it. Yes, some gay men cheat but so do straight men. To each their own but don’t throw us all in the same pot.

  • ryanL

    I get where she is coming from, but she missed the point. Men, gay or straight, have a hard time with monogamy. We have the innate need to spread the seed.

    • Strepsi

      … often on a sock or face cloth.

  • Buffy Altamont

    *Sigh* anyone else getting the impression that when some D-lister wants/needs some free publicity they say something controversial and then “apologize”?

    • Martha

      Don’t take this as an argument, more as a csaaul observation. It can be difficult for me to take you seriously regarding intrinsic beauty when you use your body to sell your blog. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t want to be fat, would you? If you believed in intrinsic beauty than you wouldn’t post vanity photos of yourself and post them on your site. You want people to think you’re hot because it’s the best way to get traffic to your site. You depend on the vanity of others, no? You are right, some people are attracted to this or to that, but we live in a society that has a very narrow definition of what beauty is, and you sort of perpetuate that here on this blog. Your words betray the vanity you possess. It’s just a thought worth considering.

  • Buffy Freak

    The problem is with making broad sweeping generalizations. See I could say something like Patty Stangers are overweight shrewish banshees whose private parts smell like mackerel left out in the sun for a week. It would completely apt regarding this Patty Stanger but it’s not fair to say it applies to all or even most Patty Stangers.

  • Joe

    It would curl your toes to know how many married men I have slept with. It isn’t just gay men that want or need more sex than they are getting at home. Men are men – some are monogamous, some are not.

    • Actually…

      I was an escort for several years. What really surprised me wasn’t the number of married men I met (which was to be expected), but the number of gay men who were partnered and were either out of town, weren’t getting what they needed, or were in an open relationship (well, according to the client, anyway). I was also hired on occasion by a couple, or by one part of a couple as a present for the other.

  • Sistagirl

    Patty Stanger is a voiciferous, over-bearin’, think her boo-boo don’t stink, virago. Ooo, now I guess I’ll be branded anti-Semetic. Ahh, the vagaries of life.

  • Lo

    Patty is not sorry in the least. Andy gave her several chances to backtrack and she just kept barreling forward, making worse and worse comments. She says whatever nonsense comes into her brain.

    Hopefully this means she has fallen completely out of favor with Andy and her show will now be cancelled.

    Does she really think she is going to find a hot man – or any man – to put up with her? She is a nasty, shrill harpie. And SHE is most definitely NOT hot herself.

    • Mel

      I agree–it’s time for Bravo to drop her. She thinks that she can arrange for others what she can’t possibly make happen for herself. Her snap judgments of others are often very rude, demeaning, and hurtful. Let’s put you in front of a crowd of millionaires and see if anyone is interested in what you have to offer!

  • 2centworth

    Hey don’t worry guys that are offended. I have a friend that is ‘brown’ skinned (Indian), and she’s pissed with Patty for saying Ladies with curly hair are not sexy. my friend’s opinion: “i really enjoyed that show except when she said she hated curly hair and men didnt like it either. yes i know I am taking it personally BUT i can tell her MANY guys like my curly hair so eff her!!!
    so we can all just say ‘EFF YOU PATTY’ for voicing your opinion!

    • AB

      I totally agree. She told a client the only way to get a man was to straighten her hair. As a curly haired woman, I was completely offended.
      What man does Patty have with that overprocessed mess she has on her head? With her fake skin, fake boobs, and nasty plastic surgery face?

      She’s a stanky mess. That’s MY opinion. BRAVO, cancel this beeyotch.

  • Brett

    She’s an obnoxious loudmouth who thinks nothing of blurting provocative statements all the time. Cohen should have realized that, being an executive on the network that continues to air her show. I’d be less offended with the comments about promiscuity than I would be about her terminology; “curbing” sounds like she thinks gay men are dogs. It’s ironic that a network that has spent so much time reinventing itself as a destination for gay viewership should be embroiled in this particular controversy.

  • Patti Stables

    Well, you heard it. Straight from the horse’s mouth.

  • Alice

    PR teams are making lots of money making fake apologies

  • Frankie

    I call shenanigans on the “I didn’t mean to offend” excuse. If you say something patently offensive, either own it as how you really feel (why else would you say it?) and move on, or recognize the fact that you’ve caused hurt to people and address it. Why anyone would go on a live show hosted by a gay Jewish man and insult gays and Jews is beyond me – the cherry on top being that said gay Jewish man is her BOSS. On top of being obnoxious and irrelevant, now we know she’s also dumb as hair.

    • AB

      Don’t insult hair.

  • Jeremy

    Why do idiot celebrities like her say offensive crap if they know they are going to have to defend themselves or apologize later? If you can’t say anything nice, then shut your stupid mouths. We don’t need to hear you.

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