Spidey will cast his net across millions of TV screens during Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, but that’s not where tomorrow’s televisual treats end. Whether you’re a certified dude, a lady with a taste for the finer things, a procedural junkie, a spy fan, or someone who understands “There’s always money in the banana stand,” we present a list of the all that’s worth watching this Turkey Day.
Fun for the Whole Family
While you’re slaving over your bird bright and early, give the kids a taste of what could await them if they don’t toe the line with the Style Network’s Supernanny marathon (6 a.m.-6 p.m.) Kids will also love back-to-back Tom & Jerry episodes on Cartoon Network (9 a.m.-7 p.m.), and teens will be occupied by MTV’s double header of Friendzone (9 a.m.-1 p.m.) and Ridiculousness (3-7 p.m.).
There’s a plethora of guy-friendly fare on all day. Early risers can flip between A&E’s The First 48 marathon (8 a.m.-4 a.m. Friday) and History’s 12-hour block of Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads (8 a.m.-8 p.m.). Outdoorsy types can catch up with Hillbilly Handfishin’ on Animal Planet (9 a.m.-5 p.m.), and weapons buffs have a choice between Discovery’s two-series gun spectacular (American Guns from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and Sons of Guns from 1 p.m.-6:30 p.m.) or G4’s Bomb Patrol (1-11 p.m.). For those with a truly unquenchable blood lust, Spike TV is kicking off the day at 10 a.m. with a Steven Seagal marathon spearheaded by the martial arts master’s 1994 eco-actioner On Deadly Ground.
Where better to go to appreciate your own dysfunctional family than WE tv? The lady net is airing episodes of Braxton Family Values from 10 a.m.-1 a.m. Friday. Past noon, the time will be right to bust our your diamonds (and perhaps even your claws) with Bravo’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (noon-6 p.m.), not to mention pop open the champagne with Patsy and Edina of Absolutely Fabulous on LOGO (1-7 p.m.). Come nightfall, BET is catching you up with its newest original offering, Reed Between the Lines starting at 6 p.m.
Get Your Procedural On
For those who can’t get enough of procedurals, TNT is airing Bones all day starting at 10 a.m., followed by a CSI: NY marathon at 8 p.m. USA has NCIS fans covered (10 a.m.-8 p.m.) and Oxygen is taking the night shift with a Law & Order: Criminal Intent block from 7 p.m.-midnight.
Eating With Your Eyes
We have no idea how you could possibly be hungry, but in case you are, choose between TLC’s Cake Boss and Cake Boss: Next Great Baker (6 a.m.-8:30 p.m.), Nadia G’s Bitchin’ Kitchen on the Cooking Channel (2-8 p.m.), and OWN’s Welcome To Sweetie Pie’s (5-11 p.m.)
The Geek Tube
Whether you geek out over music, space (the final frontier), or Buster Bluth, there’s a choice for you. VH1 i showing Pop Up Video back-to-back from 12:30-2:30 p.m., and Fuse is airing its MC series Beef from 6 a.m.-5 p.m. Over on BBC America, spend the day with Captain Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation (8 a.m.-5 a.m. Friday). Perhaps most thankful of all, fans can eagerly anticipate the 2013 return of Arrested Development with 12 hours of the show on IFC (6 a.m.-6:30 p.m.).
Just Like Old Times
The end of the year always lends itself to a bit of nostalgia, so why not embrace the remembrance of things past with some old classics? Syfy presents its annual James Bond Marathon (8 a.m.-5:30 a.m. Friday), spanning 44 years from 1964’s Goldfinger to 2008’s Quantum of Solace. Over on AMC, catch the first two Godfather movies (it’s best to forget about that third one anyway) from 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. And if you’re looking for a little bit lighter fare, look no further than Don Knotts. TV Land will show back-to-back episodes of The Andy Griffith Show (8 a.m.-6:48 p.m.).
So, what say you? Which marathon(s) will keep you awake through the tryptophan coma?