Question: I’m wondering if it’s too early for anything related to House. September seems so far away. –Brett
Ausiello: Definitely not too early. House‘s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest-inspired season premiere has been expanded to two hours and is being directed by exec producer Katie Jacobs. Holla!

Question: You probably get this a lot, but I don’t have an agent. I don’t have anything. What I do have is previous experience being a patient at Greystone Park State Hospital, the New Jersey psychiatric facility that is doubling as House‘s temporary home. It would be a true honor to go back there as a quasi-sane person and go play the nut I once was. Think you can tell your insider about me? Everyone’s got to get a break somehow, right? –Donna
Ausiello: Answer me this: How are you on the drums? Producers are currently on the prowl for an older actor who “stomps to his own beat” and is a “real percussionist” to play one of House’s fellow patients. They’re also looking for a young actress who can play the cello if that’s a better fit for you. Let me know and I’ll see if I can set something up. Given your history, you may have to audition via closed circuit camera from the McDonald’s across the street from the studio. It’s nothing personal. It’s just a safeguard in case you lunge at Katie Jacobs with a hammer. BTW, all of these casting calls have me thinking House is going to form his own loony bin pit band. Hugh Laurie has already established that he can sing as well as play the piano, guitar, harmonica and saxophone. Call me crazy, but I think I’m on to something here.

Question: Is Brian Austin Green doing One Tree Hill or not? –Jacob
Ausiello: Not. As I teased last week, Green’s reps got cold feet and pulled out of the deal. Lipstick Jungle hottie Robert Buckley has just signed on to replace him. 

Question: I’m pretty sure I saw you at the Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn last weekend. You’re even cuter in person! With that said, can you give me anything on Lost? –Sean
Ausiello: I was hoping I’d have an excuse to run this question, and my prayers were answered last night when this piece of scoop fell in my lap: Contrary to what a loose-lipped agency assistant Twittered yesterday, no deals are in place for any season 1 Lost alums to return for the show’s sixth and final season. That said, I can confirm that Team Darlton is checking the availability of several MVPs. My guess: We’ll get the official scoop on who’s returning at Comic-Con next month.

Question: I’m officially following you on Twitter! Fun, right? So, how’s about a little Bones scoop? I heard that Booth does remember who Bones is, but he thinks that his dream was real, so he’s just confused. Any truth to that? –Esther
Ausiello: Sounds like a question for exec producer Hart Hanson. “Booth’s problem isn’t remembering who Brennan is,” he tells me, “it’s remembering which Brennan she is.” Sneaky!

Question: Are we ever going to find out who Red John is on The Mentalist? –Thaddeus
Ausiello: Yes, but first PJ is going to need some help. Enter California Bureau of Investigation Agent Sam Glenn. The new recurring character, currently being cast, heads up the division handling the Red John investigation and is apparently the one person who doesn’t get seduced by Simon Baker’s pretty face. He’s also Lisbon’s (Robin Tunney) onetime mentor and ex, so cue the flying sparks!

Question: I just read your online column for the first time last week. It’s great! But what do the initials BTW and TBD mean? Thanks in advance. –Tommie
Ausiello: There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Just really, really dumb ones. I keed, I keed. BTW means “bi tranny wreck,” and TBD stands for “terribly b’smelly doo-doo.”

Question: Loved the Burn Notice premiere. What’s ahead? –Kristin
Ausiello: The show is currently in production on its midseason finale, and as Jeffrey Donovan reveals in this exclusive Ausiello TV Q&A, it’s chock-full of Fiona-Michael drama — most of which is triggered by the appearance of that evil Irishman (Paul Blackthorne) from Fi’s past. And now for something timelier: In tonight’s episode, Fiona plants a wet one on birthday boy Michael. (Her real gift cuts deeper.)  

Question: Is there still time to get producers of Ghost Whisperer to change their minds about this five-year flash forward? I think it’s a mistake. — Claire
Ausiello: Don’t think so. Any and all hope of getting them to un-ring the time jump bell was pretty much lost on Tuesday when they put out a casting call for Melinda and Jim’s now-5-year-old son Aiden. 

Question: Where’s all this Glee scoop you’re supposed to have? –Tessa
Ausiello: Lose the ‘tude, Tessa. Here’s your Glee prattle: Whitney Houston apparently doesn’t share EW staffer Tim Stack’s love for singing high schoolers. Last week, Ryan Murphy, creator of Fox’s musicomedy, told us he’s been engaged in “ongoing talks” with the Grammy-winning superstar to make a guest appearance this fall. But a rep for Houston, whose first studio album in seven years drops Sept. 1, insists “it’s not happening.” Responds Tim Stack in a statement: “It’s not right, but it’s … nope, it’s not okay either.”

Question: I just saw via your Twitter feed that Zachary Levi randomly stopped by your office last week. Lucky you! When will you be posting the interview? –Crosby
Ausiello: Most likely next week! To tide you over, the Zachster let slip a very spoilery tease about next season’s Chuck. It involves the new kung fu-esque intersect in his brain. Apparently, there are some kinks to be worked out.

Question: It’s been quiet around Ugly Bettyland. Got any scoop on the upcoming season? –Kelly
Ausiello: Forget next season — I’ve got some scoop for next week. I’m going on a date with Becki Newton! Here’s the sitch: With her hubby busy hanging with Jack Bauer in L.A., Becks (yep, we’re there already) invited me to go see Michael Urie’s play The Temperamentals with her on ***day. What’s the catch? There isn’t one! Although, come to think of it, it was my Amex the tix got charged to. Eh, I’m sure she’ll pay me when I see her. Or she can buy the drinks at intermission. We’ll work something out, don’t you worry.

Question: One of my favorite summer shows, Leverage, is returning next month. Got any scoops on my fave thief-peeps? –Dana
Ausiello: Producers want a “star name actor” to play Nathan’s evil doppelganger, Bierko. The mastermind behind his own crew of thieves, the big baddie has assembled a “whizbang mob,” which is a fancy way of describing a group of people who move into town, execute a big job, and then move on. Although I’m guessing since the role is recurring, that last part doesn’t work out so well.

Question: I’m handing in my Comic-Con virgin card this year and couldn’t be more excited. I was hoping for some advice from your expansive Con experience on how to nab some autographs and pictures with my favorite TV peeps — especially the Winchester Bros. –Jake
Ausiello: I’m handing in my V-card, too (is that really a thing?), so I can’t help you. My colleague Whitney Pastorek, on the other hand, is practically a Con slut, so let’s see what wisdom she has to impart: “A) I resent the implication that attending one Comic-Con out of wedlock has made me a ‘slut,’ but I suppose coming from the Heidi Fleiss of TCA I should take it as a compliment and B), Jake, my advice to you is simple: Get a schedule, attend the panels you want to see, haunt the convention center floor for signings at network and studio booths, and take advantage of the fact that San Diego’s beautiful downtown is very walkable — you never know who might wander past behind a pack of really tall Jawas.” Hey, while we’re dispensing advice, here’s a piece for you, Whit: Don’t ever insult me in my own column again. All I have to do is make one phone call and you’ll be spending Labor Day weekend live-blogging the Jerry Lewis Telethon with Annie Barrett. You mess with the bull, you get the horns, you hear?

Question: To get the deets on your Comic-Con meet-and-greet we have to Tweet (Ask Ausiello/June 3)? Really? So all your loyal fans on E
W.com, ya know, the ones who read you when you were at TV Guide, we don’t rate unless we follow you on Twitter? Hmm… Might have to start burning some Smurfs. –MJ
Ausiello: I was joking! All of the pertinent information about my highly anticipated Con pow-wow (i.e., how much I’ll be charging for my autograph, how many bodyguards I’ll have, what snacks you’ll need to bring, etc.) will be posted on my Facebook page as well as on Twitter. Okay, all joking aside, there’ll also be a note on my office door.

Question: Have you heard anything about ABC responding to the Save Samantha Who? petition? –Mel
Ausiello: All’s quiet on the ABC, but there’s some noise coming from a cable net. All hope is not lost! Yet!

Question: Any scoop on TNT’s Saving Grace? It is my favorite summer show! –Cristin
Ausiello: Let’s just say that many unanswered questions from last season’s finale will definitely be resolved in a timely fashion. For starters, within the first 10 minutes of the June 16 season premiere you’ll find out who exactly that girl on the corner is and how she relates to Grace’s life. How exactly she changes it is still TBD. Also in the upcoming season: Earl has a rival, someone gets engaged, and Grace may end up in prison!

Question: How about a Dexter scoop, sir? –Mark
Ausiello: We’re going to be meeting more of Dexter’s neighbors next season. Serial guest star Rick Peters (Veronica Mars, Swingtown, Heroes, Bones, etc.) has been cast as Dexter’s next-door nabe, Elliott. We’ll also come face-to-face with Elliott’s wife as well as a third neighbor by the name of Andy. Hmm … I see an extremely awkward block party in Dex’s future.

Question: What ever happened to that Gilmore Girls movie? –Corey
Ausiello: The man who would have a hand in green-lighting such a project — Warner Bros. Television boss Peter Roth — recently told me that he’d be more open to the idea of a Gilmore feature film than a TV movie. Not sure why. He ran away before I could sneak in a follow-up. In related news, if you want to see Peter Roth do a 100-yard dash in under three seconds, ask him about a Gilmore Girls movie.                                                   

Question: Wait, I thought that it was confirmed that Kirk Acevedo wasn’t fired from Fringe? But here you are saying that a new female agent will replace him. What happened? –Michele
Ausiello: All I know is what my sources have told me: Acevedo is leaving for creative reasons and a new female agent will replace him.

Question: What’s this I hear about Cappie turning down Casey on Monday’s Greek finale? Finally she comes around, and now this? Why’s Cappie holding out? –Caitlin
Ausiello: Casey is quickly becoming Greek‘s Joey Potter, what with all the oscillating between men. So who does she finally pick? Assuming the rumor you heard is true, you could say that maybe Cappie doesn’t want to be a Pacey. Maybe he wants Joey to be with her Dawson. Love is complicated, dammit! (Click here for an exclusive sneak peek at the finale.)

Question: Do you have anything on True Blood? –Rebecca
Ausiello: Not now, but I will right after Sunday’s season premiere. Come back then.

That’s a wrap! Feed questions/anonymous tips/Con tips to 
ausielloscoop@ew.com. Thanks for playing! (Additional reporting by Tim Stack and David Yi)

Whitney here with the last word: Bull? Horns? Did that expression work out for Principal Vernon, Aus? Did it inspire fear or respect? No. No, I don’t believe it did. Just sayin’.