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David Letterman mocks jihadist threat in monologue, Top 10 list

David Letterman can’t be too worried about the jihadist threats made against him last week — because he seems to be having a pretty good time laughing about them. And if anything, he likely pushed a few more buttons Monday night.

Most of Letterman’s Monday night monologue (a clip embedded below) and his Top 10 list were dedicated to addressing the threats against him that posted last week on a website frequently utilized by Al-Qaeda to communicate messages. “You people, to me, are more than an audience; you’re more like a human shield,” Letterman began. “I’m so sorry I’m a little late coming out. Backstage, I was talking to a guy from CBS, we were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad.”

As for the threats themselves, Letterman joked that this wasn’t his first time, saying: “I wish I had a nickel for every time a guy has threatened to cut my tongue out. I think the first time was at the Academy Awards — during the Academy Awards.”

“Everybody’s so sensitive,” Letterman added, before digging his teeth back into the material that seemingly got him into hot water in the first place. “But I’ll tell you, Bin Laden, when they killed him, he’d been locked in his house with six wives for three years. So when the SEALS walked in he said, ‘Just shoot me.'”

“I was looking at the documents earlier today — I don’t know if you’re aware of this — when he was assassinated, Bin Laden, was late arriving in hell. Did you know that? He had to go through Newark. [And] there was a clerical error when he arrived in the afterlife. He was met by 72 vegans.”

Below is the top ten list Letterman presented, titled “Top 10 thoughts went through my mind after hearing about the threat”: READ FULL STORY

Jimmy Fallon tapped for return to 'Saturday Night Live'

Jimmy Fallon is headed from late night to… well, slightly earlier in the night.

The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon host will return to his Saturday Night Live roots when he hosts the show on Dec. 17, which will also feature musical guest Michael Bublé. This will be Fallon’s first time as host. “I’ve never forgotten where I came from,” says Fallon in a statement. “That’s why I’m so incredibly honored to be hosting the Saturday Night Times program December 17th on HGTV.”

Fallon, who has hosted Late Night since 2009, left the show in 2004 — thankfully, not before giving us this sketch: READ FULL STORY

Radiohead, Lady Antebellum will be musical guests for hosts Alec Baldwin, Melissa McCarthy on 'Saturday Night Live'

Alec Baldwin will be in some rockin’ good company when he hosts Saturday Night Live for a record-breaking 16th time on Sept. 24. Grammy-winners Radiohead, who last stopped by Studio 8H in 2000 with host Kate Hudson, will help Baldwin kick off the 37th season of SNL as musical guests. Radiohead’s latest record, The King of Limbs, was released back in February.

The following week, on Oct. 1, chart-topping country trio Lady Antebellum will make their SNL debut in support of their upcoming album Own The Night, on the same evening that Bridesmaids‘ break-out star Melissa McCarthy hosts the show for the first time. Do we hear a Hillary Scott/Melissa McCarthy/Kristen Wiig rendition of Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On”? We can only hope.

Read more:
Radiohead’s video ‘Lotus Flower': Watch here
The inside scoop on Lady Antebellum
Alec Baldwin on ‘SNL': His greatest moment?

Louis C.K. visits 'Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld' to defend one of his favorite pastimes -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Last week, Louis C.K. had a sit-down with comic rival and accused joke-stealer Dane Cook. On tonight’s Louie, he finds himself in the hot-seat again, as a featured guest on Fox News’ Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld. In the episode, Louie explores one of his lifetime habits, a taboo activity that hasn’t really been confronted in a sit-com since Seinfeld & Co. competed in “The Contest.” Take a look at the exclusive NSFW clip below: READ FULL STORY

TBS cancels 'Lopez Tonight'

The party’s over for George Lopez. TBS has decided to cancel late-night talk show Lopez Tonight.

The network issued a statement about the two-year show coming to an end:

“TBS has reached the difficult decision not to order a third season of Lopez Tonight. Thursday will be the final episode of the show. We are proud to have partnered with George Lopez, who is an immensely talented comedian and entertainer. TBS has valued its partnership with George and appreciates all of his work on behalf of the network, both on and off the air.”

The ratings explain TBS’ decision pretty clearly: READ FULL STORY

Roseanne Barr: 'I am running for President'

Roseanne-Pres-Leno

Move over Donald Trump.

Former sitcom star Roseanne Barr says she’s running for president. Barr made the announcement during the taping of Thursday’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

“I am running for President of the United States,” Barr said to cheers (preview video below).

According to a Tonight Show insider, Barr then claimed, “I’m totally serious,” and explained, “‘Cause I want to be part of the debates, because I want to represent the tax payer. In fact, I’m choosing the tax payers as my vice president.” READ FULL STORY

Alec Baldwin to host 'Saturday Night Live' for record-16th time

Alec Baldwin will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live, as first reported by the New York Times. It will mark the 16th time that Baldwin has hosted the show, a record. NBC has also confirmed that Bridesmaids‘ break-out star Melissa McCarthy will host the season’s second episode. Both actors will be surrounded by familiar faces; producer Lorne Michaels told reporters at the Television Critics Association press tour that the entire cast will be returning for this season, the show’s 37th.

Read more:
Alec Baldwin on Twitter, reveals the movie he’s most proud of
What should Alec Baldwin’s campaign slogan be if he runs for mayor?
John Krasinski versus Alec Baldwin in Red Sox/Yankees rivalry

BET puts 'The Mo'Nique Show' 'on production hiatus'

BET has announced that The Mo’Nique Show is going on hiatus, and a return appears unlikely, according to the Los Angeles Times. In a statement sent to EW, the cable network says, “The Mo’Nique Show will be on production hiatus beginning in the fall. However, new episodes of the show will continue to air throughout the summer. Mo’nique Hicks and The Mo’Nique Show are important to the BET Networks family and we look forward to continuing our relationship with her.”

The Mo’Nique Show, which drew 1.5 million viewers for its October 2009 debut, now draws about 600,000 viewers per episode, according to BET. There are only seven new episodes remaining. Representatives for Mo’Nique did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Read more:
Mo’Nique’s brother admits to molesting her on ‘Oprah’
Oscars Big Night! Sandra! Mo’Nique! Bridges!

Harrison Ford fights with Chewbacca on Jimmy Kimmel -- PHOTO, VIDEO

Tonight Harrison Ford stops by Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the ABC late night host reunites Han Solo with his old Millennium Falcon co-pilot Chewbacca. Sources are keeping quiet on the contents of the cold open skit which brings together Ford with his tall furry Star Wars co-star, but Geeks of a Certain Age should definitely watch. Need more convincing? The episode is guest directed by Jon Favreau. Here’s our exclusive photo, and we’ll update tomorrow morning with any available video from the show:

UPDATE: Video added below! “I’m done with that Star Wars crap!”

READ FULL STORY

Cinemax renews 'Femme Fatales' for second season

Ready for more powerful, sexy and dangerous women? (Would any man say no to that question?) Cinemax has ordered 13 more episodes of Femme Fatales, a late-night anthology series about (you guessed it) powerful, sexy and dangerous women. The first season is currently airing and features “13 stand-alone episodes find extraordinary ways of coping with their problems, channeling their survival instincts and bringing out their inner guile.” Ooh-kay!

The show is inspired by and styled in the tradition of pulp stories, film noir and graphic novels, and takes place in contemporary settings. The first season ends Aug. 5.

Tanit Phoenix will return as Lilith, the mysterious host of each episode, for season two that’ll bow in 2012. Guest stars for the next season will include Vivica A. Fox (Kill Bill: Vol. 1), Antonio Sabato, Jr. (General Hospital), Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers), Jeff Fahey (Lost) and Robert Picardo (Star Trek: Voyager). Time to check this show out?

Don't expect Letterman to address second 'Late Show' break-in until Monday (if he does at all)

If you’re hoping for another funny Late Show take on the Ed Sullivan Theater being broken into for a second time, don’t. At least not until Monday. David Letterman taped both Thursday and Friday’s episodes earlier this week, a CBS spokesperson confirms to EW. The show and network declined to comment on the latest incident, which is said to have occurred at 1 a.m. Thursday. According to Reuters, 42-year-old aspiring musician Alvin Moore is accused of using a newspaper stand to break glass panes at the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Late Show films, for the attention — which he believes will help his music career. He did not gain access to the building, so the studio and set were not damaged. On Monday’s show, Letterman joked extensively about a 22-year-old man who allegedly broke into the theater Sunday morning while intoxicated. If attention is what Moore seeks, perhaps Letterman will stay mum.

Jon Stewart vs. Jay Leno: Networks spar over who's No. 1

Is there or isn’t there a new King of Late Night? Comedy Central is claiming victory after The Daily Show with Jon Stewart edged Jay Leno’s Tonight Show in the crucial Adult 18-49 demographic for the second quarter that ended June 26. Though The Tonight Show still draws the most overall viewers every night, 3.9 million, compared to The Daily Show‘s 2.2 million, Stewart’s show edged Leno, 1.295 million to 1.292 million, in the younger more advertiser-friendly demo.

But not so fast, says NBC. Spokesperson Tom Bierbaum says that Comedy Central strategically counted the ratings only for new episodes, while neglecting the ratings for reruns. According to their tabulations, The Tonight Show comes out on top when every episode is counted, 1.283 million to 1.167 million. Moreover, NBC makes the point that the first half-hour of The Tonight Show draws 1.37 million, which they contend is a fairer apple-to-apples comparison with the half-hour Daily Show. In an e-mail, Comedy Central spokesman Steve Albani said, “Broadcast traditionally has always included original plays and encores but like a lot of things they do, we believe that to be an archaic way of measuring performance. To each their own.”

While Leno and Stewart’s camps can argue over the details, ABC can confidently say that the debate is nothing more than fighting over second place. Nightline topped all the late-night shows in overall viewers (4.1 million) and Adults 18-49 (1.297 million). Click below for the top talkshows, with both Comedy Central and NBC contributing conflicting rankings:

READ FULL STORY

Bravo's 'Watch What Happens Live': Comedian Jay Mohr to guest host for Andy Cohen -- EXCLUSIVE

Yup, the host of Bravo’s well-performing late-night talk show Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen, is taking a break — albeit, for one night only.

On Sunday, July 10, comedian, Saturday Night Live alum, and Real Housewives enthusiast (he blogs about the show for BravoTV.com!) Jay Mohr will fill in as guest host on Watch What Happens Live. Mohr has appeared on the show previously, but as a guest. READ FULL STORY

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